Reality Check

-Chapter Twenty Four-

"What?"

"I'm so sorry Conner, I just, I can't," I say, tears brimming my eyes. This was all so perfect but I can't do it.

"I should have known..." he mumbles, not sounding angry at all, just hurt.

"It's just with everything with Ryder, I am not ready. I think I like you and I think you like me, I do. I just  also thought Ryder liked me. It's so soon and I still don't even know if I believe in whatever you might want this to turn out to be."

"Addison-"

"Do you want to go home?"

"Addie-"

"This really was a great night Conner, I had so much fun. I'm sorry I had to ruin it."

"Addison, you didn't ruin anything. I half expected this to be the outcome. I was just hioping it wouldn't be. I know that it was really sudden and you are still broken ov er what that prick did to you. I just want you to think about it, can you do that for me?"

"I-"

"Let's go home. We can talk more in the car," he tells me.

He was true to his word with that. Although the entire canoe ride back was silent and awkward, as was the car ride home. Once we parked outside of my house he turned to me.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says.

"Conner-"

"I hope that is enough time for you to make up your mind, I just really need to know as soon as possible. I just want you to know now that I won't give up on you."

"Please-"

"Goodnight Addie," he says, leaning over me, kissing me on the cheek, and opening the door for me.

The tears are back in my eyes as I climb out and shut the door for him to immediately drive off. I run into my house where Jade is waiting up for me in my room.

"How'd it go?"

I shake my head at her and just climb into bed. She takes my mood as a warning signal.

"I think I am going to go sleep on the couch tonight, goodnight. Whatever happened, you know I am here for you."

I nod and she walks out, closing the door behind her. I sigh and turn the light off then lay down.

I lay in bed until two in the morning. Just lay there thinking. Conner is such an amazing guy and I do trust him. But what if I am just bad with putting my trust into the wrong people?

Trusting could only get me hurt in the end, at least that is the outcome every other time I trust someone. If Conner is different though, won't this be a mistake?

The thoughts drill themselves around in my head until finally my headache is so overbearing that I have to close my eyes and sleep, still unsure of what the next day will hold for me.

I wake up in the morning to a light tap on my bedroom door. I sigh and look at the time, it is just past noon. With how late I was up last night, I am not surprised with the time.

"I'm not hungry," I shout, assuming it is my mom checking in on me and trying to take care of me.

"Actually, I wasn't here to ask you about food, although I did bring you food. I called Jade before coming over to check if you had eaten yet," Conner says through the door.

I shoot up in my bed and look in the mirror. I look terrifying. My eyes are puffy from crying last night and my hair is crazy from running my fingers through it so much. The makeup that I had worn yesterday is smudged and I am still in my clothes from yesterday.