You Know.

Chapter 13

[Not edited]
Ed :
Fuck. I fucked up so bad. I don't know why I said that. My heart broke as her face fell. I wish I could explain that it was the alcohol talking and that my male ego won't cooperate but I know she won't understand. I head towards my room for one last chance, I open the door and she is already packing her stuff.  The smell of a new hotel room which calmed me the previous night, now made me want to bang my head against the wall. "Edgar I am sorry I tagged along with you on your journey, I am going to find a way to go back home, alone, I am leaving", She tells me as she collects whatever things she has left. "Can we talk coolly? Not you know being dramatic?", I speak in my usual tone but apparently that disturbs her too. "Dramatic? What do you expect me to say? 'Oh hi Ed, I just found you kissing some other girls after you had sex with me. That's okay, where do you want to go next?'", She rants and look of unbelievable sadness. I feel low. But hey, she was the one who wanted to come with me. Anyways I had to discuss about this with her, "Now that you have brought that up, we have reached Brownsville, I am going to Mexico next, to like tour Mexico, so yeah, you go your ways , I go my ways". And fuck me, I sounded so rude. I like this girl okay. I like her so much. I am like 0.01% away from loving her and I am messing up everything. I am letting the alcohol speak for me and my ego won't let me apologise and I know she is hurting, but well the Mexico thing is the truth. "Right. Mr. McCabe, goodbye. I'll return to my rapist father, and you can continue your journey", and she is gone. I hear her sob as she leaves and I feel my cheeks get wet too. I sit down on the floor and wail. It is true after all, good things don't last forever and love at first sight is just fiction. "I AM SORRY" , I cry out loud and place my head between my hands. I have done so many things which cannot be forgiven, so many mistakes, but trust me this is one is the worst one.

Jessandra :
I find a telephone booth. On the road everyone looked at me, some even snickered probably because I was the same old pathetic break up suffering girl. My hair was wild and so was my face. The make up that I had applied was all messy. Some guys hollered at me, one even said, "who hurt you babygirl, let me make you feel loved". I would beat Ed if he turned up now, but I continuously looked behind me as I walked, I wanted him to come for me. I called up my granny, "hey um granny?", and as I hear her croaky voice after so long my heart melts, "Jessy? Honey come home! Everything's gone wrong!", "What happened gramma?", "Steve, Steve died" and she broke down. I was at loss of words. Dad died. I know how he tortured me, yet I still feel my heart break, I know how he was suffering from a critical condition but I still can't believe he died. "I am coming home, please transfer some money to my account", and I cut off the phone. I lean against the glass walls of the both which appear to be very dusty. I hold my hair up and begin to cry. Everything suddenly seemed to be depressing. The world wasn't pink or blue anymore, it became a shade of grey. A cop knocks at the door, "miss are you okay?", I stand up and step outside. I begin to leave but quickly turn and ask the cop, "I need to book railway tickets, which way?"
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Ed :
I have been crying since the past 1 hour. I have packed everything up, the receptionist had called on the telephone to inform me about how the payments have been done and I need to evacuate the room. I find the note I left this morning, it had some different message on the other side, "you made me too happy for someone who I met just a few days ago, it felt surreal, I know why it felt surreal, because it couldn't be true". I crush the paper and throw it on the floor, "Fuck". The telephone rings again but I don't bother picking it up. I leave immediately. The receptionist wishes me goodbye but I don't give a shit to her. I ask the guards outside to direct me to my truck. One of the guards tells me, "Are you okay? You know how shabby you are?" and I don't say anything. I recall that day at the pond when Jessandra said, "You know how hot you are?". I feel the water rise up again in my eyes but I stop myself from crying.  As I sit inside Denny I cry some more. The packets of chips she bought, the juice and the fruits all were here. The two packets of chips she threw on the floor because she didn't find a trash can, here. I hit the steering wheel and yell. Just a long aah and nothing. The tears rush down. She was the only who made my world happier and I did it her so wrong. I wasn't even so drunk why did I do it? Why is my ego so huge? I start driving and imagined how she must have been walking alone on these streets. Was she safe? Where was she? I want to find her, but I don't. I fill in Denny with some gas and leave for Mexico. "Sayonara" I say to no one particularly as I am about to reach the end of this country and the beginning of another.