Where My Heart Lies

Chapter Six

Lorain

 I have been laying in bed all week. I cannot take it anymore...I keep throwing up every morning, but then sometimes I dont throw up. Its confusing. I don't know what this is all about. What is happening to my body? Would it ever stop? Bryan kept texting me, asking how I am. I mean im perfectly fine its just that I keep throwing up. My mom said I must have a bug that I caught going around school. But somewhere deep down I don't think its that cause I am fine after Im done throwing up. My phone vibrated beside me. Of course its Bryan.

"Hello"? I answered. "Hey babe, I was wondering if i could come over for a little? To see how your doing." I smirked. Seriously why does he want to come over now? I don't look good at all. I know he means well but I seriously don't want him to see me. "Umm I think Rachel is coming over, Im sorry Bryan but I'll call you later". I felt bad but i don't want him to see me. "Oh okay bye then." Suddenly I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Lorain its me, Rachel...Open up I have something for you." See I wasn't lying to Bryan, but I don't want to see anyone right now. I got up and opened the door. "Look what I got for you!" Rachel wiggled a plastic bag infront of me excitedly. "What is it?"

"Its five pregnancy tests!" She squealed. "Why did you bring me five pregnancy test?!?!" Okay now I was getting angry. There was no need for her to bring them. I am seriously not pregnant...at least I hope im not. Oh god I hope Im not. "Well I remember you telling me the symtoms you've been having, and i figured it out all together and they all fit of you being being pregnant. You and Bryan did have sex right?" I had to take time and process this. Bryan and I did have sex but not a lot I think. "Yess we did do it." "Well did you guys use protection?"

"I think we did. I really hope we did. Oh god Rachel I am scared. What if i really am pregnant. I wouldn't know what to do. How would I tell my parents? Oh god how will i tell Bryan? I don't think he will be okay with that." "Lorain calm down, you don't know if you are yet. I am sure Bryan won't mind, he loves kids," "Yea I know Rachel but you don't understand what I have to go through." Suddenly I had the urge to throw up. I ran straight to the bathroom and bent down on my knees. Rachel came over and grabbed my hair pulling it back. "Rachel I cannot take this anymore. This is all I ever do now", I said after I was done.

"Don't worry Lorain I am here for you. Here take this and I will leave you alone and then tell me what you get", she said handing me the test. I took the test from her and locked the bathroom door. It took 3 mintues for the test to reveal the results. It seemed like a lifetime. Rachel took the test and stared at it first. "Wow, I can't believe it." I heard her say. "What was it?" She gave me the test and I looked at it. It had two blue lines. One line meant that you were not pregnant and two lines meant that you were. "Oh my god", I started crying. "It's okay Lorain you know im here for you. There are still four more test you have to try. And like they say some test are inaccurate. I can take you to a doctor to see if it really is true."

"Rachel, what am i going to tell my parents? And Bryan? I really know I am pregnant. It says it all there. Especially me throwing up." I cried into her shoulder. My parents are going to kill me. I really know it.

Bryan

 What is wrong with Lorain. I haven't seen her for a week now and everytime I ask to see her, she makes an excuse. I miss her,,,a lot. I want to be there for her, whatever she is going through. Right now I just need to go out and get my mind off of her. Mitch just texted me saying there is a party going on. I guess I'll go there for now until Lorain calls me back.

"Hey dude how's it going?" Mitch said as I walked up to the party. "Nothing Lorain and I are just having a little break I guess." "Aww man sorry, I thought you guys were going good."  "I thought we were too...." As I walked into the house, there were tons of people. Some were from our school and some looked like they were from college. Jessica spotted me and came towards me. "Hey Bryan I haven't seen you in forever. You look soo cute." She gave me a kiss on the cheek.  "There is no need for that Jessica." I gave her a stern look and walked past her to get a drink. "Man, all you need to do is have a good time and get your mind off of Lorain for a little." Mitch said.  "Yea I know Mitch but it's not as easy as it looks. It seems like she is avoiding me and i can't take it anymore."  "Well tell her that then, she is a good girl Bryan and you don't want to loose her." He looked at me and then walked away. Yea how am i going to loose her? I know I want to be with her. Or don't I want to?

I started drinking this punch which has such an aquire taste to it. I started to get dizzy and somehow I manage to get my head laying on some girls lap. "It's okay i'll take care of you Bryan. You know I still love you and I still want to be with you. That  girl Lorain doesn't deserve you at all...I do." We started to make out and somehow we managed into an empty bedroom with just a bed and a dresser in it. "Bryan, you know I wanted you for this long and I know we broke up and all but I think you still have feelings for me cause I know I still do. I love you. And I am ready for us to do this." She started to take off her shirt. Then she unbuttoned mine. What the hell am I doing? I am soo drunk right now that I can't even talk. I saw that the girl grabbed a condom from the bedside table and put it on me. Are we seriously going to do it right now? Don't I have a girlfriend? After that it just went dark.

Lorain

 After Rachel left, I just felt lonely. I am going to have a baby. I can't believe it but it's happening. All I want to do is fall asleep and never wake up again. How am I going to raise this baby? Where am I going to live? I can't live here with my parents after the baby comes. And of course im not going to give up my baby for adoption. Adoption is never an option for me. I am going to care and love this baby and never leave it's side...ever.

 "Honey, dinner is done," My mom yelled from downstairs. I walked down and into the kitchen, seeing my mother and father sitting at the dinner table getting ready to eat. I feel really nervous and feel like I should just tell them now and get it over with. "Mom...Dad, I think I should tell you something," I said looking down. "Well what is it?" My dad looked at me. I paused for a second and couldn't think of what I should say. I know they will get really upset with me, especially my mom. My mom has always planned out a future for me. She always said that after high school that I would be going to college and getting a high paying job. She told me about teen pregnancy and said that she doesn't want it to ever happen to me. She had me at a young age and doesn't want me to go through what she went through to have me and raise me. She was a year younger than I am when she had me."Well what is it honey?" My mom said with concerned eyes. Tears started to come down my cheeks. My mom came over and wrapped her arm around me for comfort. "I think I know why I have been throwing up", I mumbled. "What is it?" she asked again. She stared at me of what seemed like forever. And then her face went blank. She knew what I was talking about. "How could you?" she started to back away from me. "I told you about this to try and prevent this, I never wanted this to happen to you." Now it really seemed like she was about to cry. "Mom I know but it just happened."

  "This doesn't ever just happen. You know what you were doing and you let it happen. I really hope you just "think" you are. Did you take a test? I want to see it." My Dad got up from where he was sitting and came over and wrapped his arms around me. "Honey, are you sure about this? If you really are pregnant then we are here for you and support you," he kissed my forehead. "Yes I am daddy."

 My parents and I walked up into my room and I showed them the test. My mom's eyes went wide and my dad just looked sad. I know I disappointed them and they always taught me better. But things just happen. This could have been prevented but it wasn't. My mom is right I knew what I was doing and I got myself into this mess. My parents came over and gave me a hug. "We are here for you" , my dad said. "We love you" ,my mom gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

 After my parents went to bed, I washed myself up and went to bed myself. I couldn't sleep at all. I kept thinking that I had a baby growing inside of me. I told my parents about it, now I just need to tell Bryan. Bryan and I are not on very good terms right now and I am actually kind of scared to tell him. I rubbed my stomach and told it that everything is going to be okay and that I will never leave him or her ever. Around 2 o'clock, I finally fell asleep.