diabolik lovers drabbles

Kou's P.O.V. #2

Kou's P.O.V.
I have to stop. I know I have to stop. I can't do this any longer. I can't keep hurting her.

Staring at the sleeping [Y/N] with her tear-stained face, it makes me think about why I did this in the first place.

"Now that I think about it...." Kou mumbled.

Why did I even do this?

The moment I knew that half-breed like us couldn't become adam. I was frustrated. Like, I got close to her, being nice to her and stuffs, all of that was so that I could become adam. If us Mukamis becoming Adam isn't possible in the first place, all that I did from the beginning up to then was just a waste of time. I was frustrated, pissed, everything you can name.

Even though she's the eve, if I can't become adam then she's basically useless. That's what I had thought...

Sure, I grew quite attached to her. But that little emotion was blinded by the frustration I felt. I probably thought that I wanted to hurt her and so I did. I cheated on her.

I'm questioning the "love" I felt before I hurted her. Was that actually "love" I was feeling? Did I love her? Or just her blood?

Either way, that doesn't matter for now I consider myself seriously in love with her.

Kou brushed away the hair that fell on your face and carressed your cheek. He looked at you sadly, his face was full of guilt.

"[Y/N]..." He whispered out your name.

The love I am feeling right now isn't strong enough. Maybe it's not love I'm feeling after all? Cuz love is supposed to be powerful, y'know? Like, you can defeat anything with the power of love! they said...

If I love her then, I should be able to stop cheating on her easily. But I can't.

Maybe... I secretly enjoy hurting her? I enjoy seeing her pained expressions? Could that be the reason?

Kou stared at you for awhile, before letting out a sigh. He wrapped the blanket around you and him then snuggled against you, drifting off to sleep.

You opened your eyes and glanced across the room.

'Kou...' He was nowhere to be found. You sat up and let out a yawn. After staring at empty spaces for awhile, you stood up and walked out of your room.

You wondered where Kou had gone off to but first of all, you were hungry. Food. Yes. You need to eat.

You went passed the living room and entered the kitchen, everyone were nowhere to be found? You glanced at the clock wall to see that it was 13:14. Ruki, Yuma and Azusa were probably sleeping. Could Kou have gone to work?

You shrugged and opened the fridge, finding yourself some food.

You took a bath afterwards and lazed around the mansion...

~ ~ ~

It was night time by then, you heard the sound of the main door opening. 'It must be Kou...' You thought. You wanted to see him but he might just hurted you again, so you just went and head back straight to your room.

It's unusual... [Y/N] doesn't come and greet me or something. Is she angry now? Has she finally gave up?

No.. just the other day she told me she loves me. She couldn't possibly give up now, right? But I've make her wait too long, I've hurt her for too long... What if she stops loving me?

"I don't want that..." Kou muttered under his breathe before he went inside his room.

I'm so selfish. Like the most selfish being ever. I want her to keep loving me but I've never even give her my true love.