Fading memories// •Shawn Mendes•

•1•

It's still vivid in my memory, the day Prim went to the hospital...

She'd been getting severe, throbbing migraines, fatigue, also sharp head pains. All of which are not normal for a girl the age of 19 to be having on a daily basis.

*flash back*

We were both sitting on her bed watching 'The Vow'. She was lying her head on my chest and I was stroking her long, velvety hair. Before I knew it I felt her soft heartbeats and knew she was sleeping. Then all of the sudden they stopped, I no longer felt the soft beats against my chest. I immediately sat up and held her delicate face in my hands. I noticed that her lips were turning an unappealing shade purple and her eyes were rolled back into her head. Frantically I started yelling her name and shaking her body hoping for her to wake, but to my luck nothing was working, she wasn't responding. As I was screaming her name I could feel hot tears staining my cheeks and the unpleasant salty taste of the tears on my tongue. Then the door busted open. "Shawn is everything okay?- SHAWN! WHAT HAPPENED?!" My Mom came rushing over to the bed and held Prim's hand. "I-i don't know, we were just laying down then she fell asleep then h-her heart i-it just stopped." I was hysterically crying at this point, struggling to find the oxygen to fill my aching lungs. "I'm gonna go call the ambulance stay here, calm down and take deep breaths, Shawn. Everything's gonna be fine." Mom reassured me before dialing 911.

I sat down on the bed and held my beloved in my hands. Her limp body made my heart sink into a sea of misery.

I heard sirens in front of my house. I quickly shot up from the bed with Prim in my arms and ran downstairs. The front door busted open and people came flooding through. Before I could process what was happening Prim was being taken from my tight grasp. They laid her small, fragile body onto to a rolling bed, then hooked her up to an oxygen tank all while pulling her into the back of an unfamiliar ambulance truck before driving down the dark, empty street and out of my line of sight.

~

I hate hospitals. They smell like a synthetic clean death. the florescent lights glared on the tile floors. As I waited I witnessed many very sick.. some upset as they are bored those waiting are sad yet impatient and mad. All emotions across the board. the wait was great as it always is. I laugh to my self this is why they call us patients. Because we must be patient before anything ever gets done.

But I can't keep my mind off of her. Every thing was normal two hours ago, she was in my arms, breathing, conscious. Now she's in a cold hospital bed with Doctors and nurses surrounding her and she's completely unaware of it. I don't even know what kind of medical state she's in? All the horrifying ideas and possibilities came flooding through my mind.

What if  i lose her?

I wouldn't want to live in a world without her. I feel like i'm running a marathon, I'm exhausted with this world and she's at the finish line waiting for me. I can't just give up. I have to be strong for her. But what's the use in running if you don't have a goal? She's my goal, and I won't give up. I won't stop running till I get to her.

"Mr. Mendes?" The young secretary with short black hair pulled into a ponytail and glasses called out. I shot up out of the cold metal chair and trotted over to her desk. "Yes, that's me. How is she doing?" I asked searching for any kind of answer in her eyes. "You are here for Primrose Jane Foster, correct?" I nodded. "Well to answer your question she is in surgery currently but will be out shortly. And before you ask, no I don't know what her condition is, you may ask the Doctor when he comes out." I nodded once again. She gave me a sweet smile before I sat down back down in the lonely chair.

"Mendes? She's ready for visitors now." I looked up to see an old man with wiry grey hair that peaked out of his nurses cap. He stood in the doorway with a clipboard in his hands. I stood up out of my chair.

"Where is she?- How is she doing?" I basically yelled at him following behind him at a fast pace. But I couldn't help it. I've been in this gloomy waiting room for 10 hours living off of bitter coffee and stale cookies. I have gotten no sleep and I'm insanely worried about my lover.

"Well, before you see her I need to tell you something. Yes she is still alive but in very unstable condition-" I sighed in relief. "Now for the bad news... She suffered from a 'Silent stroke' which caused her body to shut down, also her heart. But something like that doesn't normally happen to someone of such a young age. Being that she is so young it was very traumatic for her brain, it couldn't handle it. Therefore causing her to lose her memory, slowly but still losing it. She still remembers basic things but soon it will all be gone. I'm so sorry there's nothing I can do to prevent this. For the time being she is on pain killer and after-stroke medication." I felt my heart shatter into a million shards of broken glass and my eyes welling up with the familiar blur of tears. What if she doesn't remember me? Everything we've done would all be for nothing. There would have been no point in us dating. I hope she still remembers me.

"I-i can't believe this. Is it true? She's really losing the her memory? This can't be happening." I shook my head not believing it. "Again, I'm very sorry this happened to you sir. Would you like to see her now?"