Fading memories// •Shawn Mendes•

•2•

I stood behind the cold metal door that separated me from her... The one person who keeps me sane, who keeps me humble and honest. She's my everything and now she might forget the very essence of Me.

"Umm... Sir are you going to open the door?" The doctors voice rang in my ears with an impatient tone.

I just stood there, lost in my maze of thoughts; my body was frozen in place.

Is this even worth my time?

Yes shawn! Stop being an inconsiderate jerk and see her.

But everything will be for nothing...

THAT DOESN'T MATTER SHAWN!
ALL THOSE MOMENTS WERE WORTH LIVING!

What harm would there be if I end things with her?

What am I thinking she couldn't handle me leaving her...

After gathering my thoughts I took a deep breath before turning the handle and pushing the door wide open revealing my lovely flower... looking wilted. Her face: exhaustion spread across it, even with her eyes closed she still looked like a delicate rose. Hair knotted, skin: sucked of any color, cold blue lips almost the shade of her thin hospital gown which clothed her petite, weak body. I couldn't bare to look at her like this. She didn't even look herself. I stood in silence watching as the Doctor wrote on his clipboard. The only sound in the room was her weak but steady heartbeat in my ears. He glanced up at me and raised an eyebrow. Almost asking if I was alright. I nodded and took a seat in the chair beside her.

Just as I took her small, cold hand in mine the doctor told me he would let me be alone for a while before walking out and leaving me to try and comprehend what was happening.

Hours had past and I still sat next to the bed admiring all her beautifully placed facial features. Every perfect, soft curve and sharp angle. her cheek bones; prominent but complimented her small button nose that had the cutest bump in the middle, on either side of her nose are those big, round deer eyes that make me fall for her every time she glances into mine. They're a mixed shade of blue and grey. Almost would seem dull to anyone, but to me they could lighten up the world. Lips like a rose bud, thin but not too thin to where they were not ever so lush, plump and inviting.

Every once in a while a nurse would come in to check on her and update me on any changes.

It was quite boring sitting in a chair and letting your thoughts devour your mind.

This all happened so suddenly. She was such a good person; sweet like a honeysuckle growing in a luscious Field of flowers, so bright and colorful. You just wanted to run through them and lie in it for hours. She was so calm like them too, you always wanted to be around her because she just knew how to comfort you, without even trying. But at the same time wild like the wind blowing through the flowers causing waves of pollen and bees to come erupting out and into the sunny sky.

She is my everything. she consumes my thoughts and makes me strive to live my life freely, and I can't help but think that this is my fault. Like I could have prevented what was happening... It's tearing me apart and she's slipping away.

Prim hadn't woken yet, and I wasn't about to. She is far to tired. So I pulled out my phone realizing I haven't eaten anything for 15 hours now.

As I was opening the door to get myself something to eat I heard her heart rate shoot up. I peered back to see her eyes fluttering open frantically searching for something, "What the hell? how did I end up here- Shawn?! what's happening?!" Then it dawned on me, she blacked out before the ambulance came. She has no clue as to what happened or why she's in a hospital and why I was sitting in a chair staring at her.

"Prim, it's okay just calm down,"