Hard Times Purify

O N E

continued . . .

Zih ,

"Nooooo! Why Karti? Baby please come back." I screamed , wiping at the tears that were slightly burning my already sore , tear stained face .

I watched as the coroners placed him and Jesus's body in them black bags . Karen was in the back of the EMS truck hyperventilating . Maria stayed over by the car with the kids . She was crying but I can tell she was being strong for the sake of my children . I wanted nothing more then to go and snatch Kartion and Zuri up and hold them in my arms , but not with all this blood on me .

"Zih , please calm down ." A now sober Chelly told me , wrapping her arms around me . Meagan followed , crying also . Not knowing what to say .

"Mrs. Gonzales , can you please tell me what happened ?" A detective walked over and asked me .

I cocked my head to the side wondering if I heard him correctly .

"My husband and father-in-law were murdered tonight . On our wedding night and your standing here asking me what happened ?" I asked , rolling my neck .

He nodded his meaty neck in the positive .

I took in a deep breath . "I'll tell yo ass what happened alright !" I tried to charge at him but Chelly and Meagan held me back. "Disrespectful prick !" I yelled .

He handed Meagan his card and quickly scurried off .

I dropped to the grown as if I deflated . I was out of tears my cries were empty . My soul mate was gone . Gone forever .

"Sis , come on . We got to go to the station ." Gee whispered in my ear , breaking me out of the trance .

"No . Gee , I just want to be with my kids and Karti . Im not going to no station . Can someone please take me home ?" I said , all the while staring at the puddle of Karti's blood that still occupied the sidewalk .

"Zih , we got to go . Come on ma ." He grabbed my hand , forcing me up .

I lashed out , "No ! Get the fuck off of me ! Let me go ! Im not going ! Stop !" I began to swing , kick , punch , scream and break away .

Soon Dale , Nico and my dad all joined in , trying to get me up off the ground . I continued to fight . "Get off me ! Im fucking staying right here !" I screamed .

Why was this happening ?

My energy was gone . I felt like I couldn't fight anymore . All I wanted to do was sleep , and never wake up .

*********************

1 week later ,

As the choir sung the sad melody , my heart crushed with every sweet angelic note . Looking up at the huge Collateral ceilings , I forced the huge lump back down my throat . This wasn't a dream ? I though to myself . Why haven't anyone woke me up yet and putting me through this torture ? What did I do to be hit like this ?

Holding onto Zuri's little hand , while she sat next to me , I forced a small smile . My baby didn't even have a clue on what was going on , but Kartion sort of did . He knew that his family was very sad , and daddy and grandpa was nowhere around . He even asked for them this morning , but how do you explain death to a 4 year old ?

Looking at the 2 caskets in front of me , I wished that the duo would pop up and scream it was all a sick joke and not reality . And that they apologized for playing this game . But isn't that what everyone wish for at a loved one's funeral ?