Sunday 25/9/2011
Name: Henri JubJub
Species: Beagle cross Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Birthdate: 10th November 2007 (that makes me almost four)
Housemates: Kelly ShnupShnup, my ... charming ... girlfriend.
weight: I'm half a beagle. Do you really think I'll tell you? I'm touchy about my weight.
Colour: Why do YOU care? Is this the CIA? Do you need to know every little detail of my life?
Enough of that ridiculous excercise. why on earth must I write out all these details for everyone to see? What if I was to attempt something criminal and make a fake identity for myself, and then this was found. Then obviously I would have been lying, and I'd get framed for the crime! what nonsense this recording information stuff is.
This next question is quite ridiculous: is it important for you to know whether I prefer cumquats or radishes? They are so different, you cannot compare! Each is so beautiful in its own way! But - ah! - orange or purple, that is the question. THAT I can understand.
Kelly says that if they were comparing, for example BANANAS and radishes, then she would be able to pick. But unlike Kelly, I do not have an unhealthy obsession with a certain bright yellow and also extremely expensive fruit, so I can't comment on that one.
Kelly, by the way, is half basset hound, half beagle. she is a strangely beautiful creature, with her long body, short legs and dangling ears. Her expression is so sweet sometimes - when she widens her huge brown eyes (always well lined with mascara and eyeliner) and smiles a little, she is simply breathtaking. I saw people laughing at her the other day. I can't imagine why. Do you think it was because she was rolling in - no, can't have been.
I really should tell you about myself, shouldn't I? My name is Henri JubJub and I am small, tubby and cute. I am mostly brown and black with a white snout, tummy and tip of tail - and two little white spots on my back. I have white socks too. I have apassion for food and also for the beach. I look simply wild in a dog coat. I am addicted to macadamia nuts in the shells. One of my favourite songs is 'Hound Dog'.
And for some reason, I am writing a diary.
Kelly says I am trying to face my fears within the world by recording them here. I don't agree because once I wrote down everything I was afraid of on a list, and the list got so long I got afraid that I was TOO afraid of things, and I started trying to narrow it down but then I kept thinking of more and more things and it didn't work. Now the list is buried in a briefcase underneath the Master's bed. Hopefully, I will never see it again.
Anyway, I thought it would be good to record my life story. and if you are police, investigating a crime I may or MAY NOT have done, please drop this book because you may discover something about said crime. Not that I ever did anything. Just thought that I'd warn you, if you are investigating me, some kind of acid will spill on you in 10 seconds. I'm not sure what kind, I'm still working on that.
Have a nice day!
