The One

Chapter 1

1\1\14

My name is Emily Samuels, and this is my diary so KEEP OUT !!!!!!

10 am

I have disided not to use "dear diary" it sounds way to childish and I'm 16 now, I can't be childish anymore. So I'm starting this diary, I'm going to record everything that happens. That's what the women at the institute told me to do, that I had to write down all my troubles so that I don't try it again, so that I don't kill myself this time I mean. I spent a year in the institute and I don't want to go back again don't want to miss another year, not be able to see anyone not have a life. I'm not a child. So I'm going to do what the woman says, I'm going. To write everything down and go along with their way to get me what they call "back on track" im only doing what they say to get the only good part of my life back. what they dont realise is that i wont ever try and kill my self again and when i say that i mean it!! NEVER again!

i should probably write down why i ended up "mentaly unsafe"

it started when i went into year 9 i had loads of friends who i had spent the summer with and we all wanted to get back and start our options that they made us pick for GCSE for the next 3 years. I was happy i had amazing friends and i was ditermind to make this a good year!! it stared to go down hill around christmas, a girl accused me of calling her best friend a bitch, and that i said she was a ugly slut. none of this was true, the whole thing was made up. I had endless texts telling me how i had no frinds and no on wil ever like me again now, that i will never get a boyfriend cause i was ugly and fat. every night there were more waiting for me to read, then the rumours started. the first one was that i was homeless, i lived on the streets and park benchs like a tramp. Next it was that my parents didnt love me thats why i was so mean. There were loads more than that. After the rumours can the facebook posts, huge paragraphs about me warning people to not be my friend or to stay away from me. about how i made people cry themselves to sleep everynight.

Oh god, mums calling me write later.

E xx

11:20 am

What was I saying? Oh yeah!!! The Facebook posts stopped and I started getting texts again, I had no confidence and by February I was self harming, then on the 8th of march I took a pot of my mums heart pills and took them all hoping to kill myself. It didn't work because Lilly (my best friend) found me and called the paramedics I was so angry that it hadn't worked I tried to fight the doctors and they ended up sedating me. Then they sent me off the the institute for a year. Anyway.....

Now I'm gonna shut up about my past, so tomorrows my first day back. I'm starting year 10 half way through the year and I really want this to be. A good year. I hope my friends will have me back cause I haven't seen them since the day I tried it.

E xx

2/1/14

4:05 pm

So I started back at school today, and it wasn't bad at all!!! The moment I walked in Lilly ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug ever!! Then all the others came over and said how they missed me and that they were so worried about me, I didn't think they would still care about me, that that everyone hated me. But they don't!! I had a good day it was nice to be back at school and have my friends back.

Being the "not so new, new girl" is okay, there were some people I didn't know that had joined in the year that I wasn't there, I was sitting with Lilly at lunch by our tee when a guy who I didn't know came over and introduced himself, in the five minute conversation we had I felt like I had known him all my life, it turned out he lived at the end of my road, he's really cute but he will never like me I just know it :( anyway need to do home work so byee!

E xx