Color of Roses

Confession

Chapter 22

The travel inside the carriage was quiet and peaceful. Leo was kind and kept his distance even though I could tell he was holding back from what he'd want to say or do. As much as I disliked him, I was glad when he volunteered to help find his brother. I needed to see Alyn and to show him how much I wanted him beside me.

"I'm still waiting for you to ask," Leo says snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Ask about what?" I question.

"About our parents," he says as his eyes gleam in the midmorning sunlight.

"I didn't think it was my place to know. If Alyn wanted me to know, he would have told me."

"True but Alyn isn't one to share much of his backstory. He tends to keep things bottled up until he can't take it anymore. It's easier for him to be rude than show his true feelings," Leo says with a smirk. "I on the other hand tend to speak my mind honestly."

I roll my eyes. He was a bit too honest about his feelings.

"Seventeen years ago there was a huge dispute among the noble families in our kingdom. Our parents were in a high place being part of the palace bureaucracy. Alyn and I, we were just kids learning to become knights when it happened," Leo pauses and looks out the window before continuing, "We came home that night and found them lying next to each other on the floor of their study in our manor." His voice shakes slightly and something shines against his cheek.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to," I mutter quietly. My heart aches at seeing the pain on his face. "I don't want you to talk about something so painful."

"We were taken in by some relatives living in the castle," he continues, "We weren't told what happened but we both knew they were murdered. I overheard some of the servants talking about it one day when I was playing. They had said a family eager to rise amongst the palace ranks hired an outsider to kill them and take all they had. Even when that family was stripped of their name, we still never could accept all that happened. As we grew, Alyn was the only one to hold true to our parents' wishes. I chose to become a bureaucrat myself and work in the palace."

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Leo," I say quietly. He forces a smile at me but I know he's hurting having to relive those moments again. "It's not something we both are eager to share with others. We like to keep that part locked away in hopes we'll pretend it never happened and be happy. I've found ways to keep myself occupied enough to forget the past but I think Alyn feels he doesn't deserve to be happy. I honestly think you can make him realize there's more to life than his duty to the king. You can truly make him happy."

I gaze out the window at the slow moving backdrop of trees and farms and ponder Leo's words. I honestly think you can make him realize there's more to life than his duty to the king. You can truly make him happy. I really hope so.

**

We've reached the small town miles from the castle city I'm used to. The sun was nearly setting behind the horizon when we arrived at the inn and were placed inside rooms. I asked the owner if she'd seen Alyn but sadly she said no. Leo promised he'd take me to the cemetery once the sun rose and I tossed back and forth in bed debating what I wanted to say if I saw Alyn.

Leo had greeted me in the dining chamber of the inn and we both grabbed some water and bread as we walked to the cemetery. The cemetery was nearly a mile from the town and my heart began to race once the tombstones were in sight. I scan the area in case I see anyone but no one seems to be visiting.

"He's not here," I murmur.

"We haven't even set foot inside yet," Leo assures me. We do just that, and I follow him to a large tombstone with the name Crawford carved into the stone. Leo leans down and grabs something. "It's a lily. A fresh one. He's been here not too long ago."

I look around but I don't see any sign of Alyn. "Do you think he's in town?"

"He couldn't be that far but I high doubt we'll see him. We can head back if you want. I don't want to stay here too long," he says and replaces the lily.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to pay my respects," I say and touch the cold stone.

"I'll wait over there," Leo says and heads towards the gated entrance. I touch their mother's name and then their fathers. I wonder what kind of people they were before they died.

"You don't know me but I just recently learned about you," I say quietly to the tombstone. "I was told I was to be the next rule of Wysteria a few months ago and I'm truly terrified that I won't do a good job. I thought there was a mistake, that is, until I got to know your son Alyn. At first I thought he was a real jerk but once I spent time with him, I learned he had a good heart. When I'm near him, my heart goes crazy. I can't help but smile when I see him and his voice is so soothing. I feel like I can do anything when he's by my side. He gets me out of trouble and is always there when I need him the most. But right now he's hurting and I can't do anything about it. He's hurting and it's all my fault." I feel streaks of tears run down my cheeks and I wipe them away quickly. "I wish I could be the one to protect him instead. To help him realize that it's okay to be happy and that he can depend on other people. He doesn't have to be alone anymore. I want him to know that I'm here for him and that I love him."

I close my eyes and squeeze them tight while the tears continue to flow. The wind blows and I swear I could hear a voice whispering to me. A strange feeling like I'm being held surrounds me and I look around but see no one. The wind blows past me again and this time the voice is clearer. A soft thank you said in a womanly voice fills my ears and I gaze down at the tombstone once again. I wipe away my tears and smile at the tombstone. I hear Leo call out to me and I quickly return to him and head back to the inn.