withdrawal | seokjin

13

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Toni 

The wind blew through my hair as I drove.

I wasn't quite sure why I was visiting his grave.

I could just avoid it and drive around town.

But I know I need to go there.

There's so much shit I need to get off my chest.

The guilt is eating me up and I need a release.

Gravestones and tall trees came into my vision.

I cleared my head and walked down the street towards the graves.

My brain told me to leave but my body kept walking towards his grave.

Looking down at Namjoon's grave an unbelievable anger stirred in me.

I wanted to kick, scream, and cry all at the same time.

Just seeing his name made me feel intense hatred.

Taking a deep breath I talked.

I spilled all the shit I felt about my current situation.

My hatred, guilt, and sadness slid through my lips with ease.

By the end of it I was tearing up a bit.

I sniffed and decided to end my rant.

My feet walked away from the gravestone but I stopped short.

"You know what Namjoon?

I thought killing you would make my life easier.

But all it's done is complicate it even more."

I gulped down the ball in my throat as I thought about my last words.

"I hope you're burning in hell Namjoon."

With that I walked back to my car.