The Wrong Side

Chapter 42

Hours later, Kadiya's words still cut into my heart like a knife. I don't think any of us were expecting that. After her outburst, Matthew suggested that we retire for the night. He and Kadiya went to a camp they had set up, while Luna came with me back to the house.

"I never knew Kadiya had that in her," I had said.

To which Luna replied, "She's harsh when she's angry."

"Why is she so angry though? I mean, you and Matthew seem fine."

"Oh, Matthew is pissed. He's just gonna be passive about it. I dunno about me though. I think I trust you and that's enough. I mean, last time I was angry at you, you disappeared. I don't know what's going to happen next, and I don't want things between us to end on a bad note."

"What do you mean? You think something's going to happen with us?"

She didn't answer that which left a gnawing pit in my stomach.

"I think Kadiya's the most upset because she's the one who found you and vouched for you. She promised to take responsibility if it turned out you weren't trust worthy."

The gnawing sensation only grew after that.

Now, Luna sleeps in the house, in my room while I'm on the couch, trying to summon fatigue. But I'm wide awake. Being awake with nothing going on is dangerous for one's mind as it begins to wander, summoning worst case scenarios and imagining undesirable outcomes.

I am tired though. I hadn't felt it until I sat down and everything -- mentally, physically, emotionally -- just collapsed into a ball of misery and a will to just pass out. But as I said, I'm wide awake. My mind won't stop working as it brings up memories and thoughts of future events.

I think I eventually do sleep, because one moment I close my eyes and the next, sunlight is streaming in through a window, there's a crick in my neck and the sensation of drool on my chin. I quickly wipe it away and get up, stretching and relieving the tension in my muscles. There's muffled snoring coming from my room. She must still be asleep.

There's a light knock at the door and I flinch slightly, my heart suddenly starting to race. Has Ember arrived? Is it her? Or Venning, maybe?

It's Matthew. I sigh from relief when I see him. Is he still mad at me? Because he's doing a great job of hiding it.

"Hey," I say slowly.

"Is she sleeping?" He asks, jutting out his chin in the direction of Luna and I nod. "Good," he mutters and turns around, indicating that I should follow him.

"What is it?" I ask.

He just shakes his head and walks down the street. The sun is low, barely even peeking out from behind the horizon.

Matthew doesn't talk as he leads me through the town. His head is down, his jaw tight and his hands buried in his pockets. I don't talk, lest I anger or annoy him.

We stop in front of a building -- no, the building. The building where everything seems to happen to me in this abandoned town.

"This is the place where we found your pack," he says, glancing at me sideways.

I nod.

"You should have seen Luna's reaction. She was so distraught and wouldn't stop crying for hours. She was so scared that you wouldn't come back. I think she's still waiting."

Yep. Still pissed.

"Am I really that different from the Caden Tarasi you knew?" I ask and he's silent for a moment.