Sam wandered through the lunchroom with Blaine in tow. He maneuvered around until he was at his own table. He dropped his lunch tray in front of him, sitting beside Ryder. "What's up over here?"
Puck put his phone on his tray and leaned forward, "there's a poll on Jacob Ben Israel's site asking if you and Blaine are a couple."
"So?" Sam shrugged.
"99% said yes," Puck sighed, "I am the other 1%. People think you're actually gay."
Sam grabbed his sandwich from his tray and brought it to his lips, "who cares? People have said so since like 10th grade."
"Sam. You and Blaine just put us lower on the totem poll. We're officially the most uncool group at school. And I have a way to fix that."
"We aren't uncool," Sam defended.
As if on cue, Sam's eyes went crossed. Directly behind Sam wasn't a jock, but a marching band member. He and two of his friends were laughing as they yanked Sam's white bikini briefs out of his pants. The boy's heard Sam's groans escalate as the boy yanked his underpants further back. Sam was holding onto the table just to stay put. To make matters, he started to feel the drip of a slushie in his crack. The best part was actually when his underpants were ripped off!
That was right, a band geek ripped odd his undies and placed them around his neck.
Sam sat with his mouth agape, "That kid looked like a freshman."
"Exactly," Puck leaned back, "everyone meet me in the locker room after school."
---GLEE---
"Okay," Puck rubbed his hands together. Before him sat Finn and the rest of the New Direction guys. He crossed his arms and looked around before speaking again. "I think it's pretty obvious that the New Direction guys are the least popular in the entire school. So, what's the best way to get popular? A sexy calendar."
"You want us to sell a sexy calendar?" Ryder raised an eyebrow, "And that's going to make us popular?"
"It's actually a pretty decent idea," Blaine chimed in, "I mean sex sells. Celebrities use that tactic all the time."
"So a bunch of girls think we're sexy, so what?" Jake shrugged, "The guys will just hate us more. Not to mention we might look like we're trying too hard."
"That's why we have our second calendar for the guys, make em laugh and show them that we aren't victims," Puck explained, "A wedgie calendar."
"I'm all kinds of against this idea," Jake shook his head, "No."
"Why am I even here?" Finn asked, "I don't have to be popular? Remember?"
"We need six guys for the calendar," Puck said matter-of-factly. He walked around for a second silently before shrugging, "I need you all on board for the idea."
"I think it's worth a chance," Sam threw up his hands. He jumped up and stood beside Puck, "We have nowhere to go but up. I think we should all join in. If you're in, raise your hand.
Immediately, Sam raised his hand. Just as quickly Puck and Blaine raised their own hands. It took less than a minute for Ryder to raise his hand.
"Jake? Finn?" Puck asked, with a hopeful smile. Jake raised his own hand begrudgingly, but Finn remained shaking his own hand. "Finn, come on. We need you."
Finn took a deep breath, "You owe me one man."
Puck smiled, jumping up and down for a second or two in celebration. Finally he pulled over a whiteboard and picked up a whiteboard writing all of the guys name down in a list. "Finn, pick a month."
"Um, er. June?" He shrugged.
Writing it down, Puck continued the process until every month had been perfectly planned out.
---GLEE---
"Sam?" Blaine asked as he walked into the weight room. There was Sam lifting weights in the corner. The weights he was lifting looked heavier than usual.
"Hey, dude?" Blaine waved as he approached Sam.
The blonde paid no attention to him, he just continued working out.
"Sam?" He repeated, poking him in the chest.
Annoyed, Sam set down the set if weights and took a deep breath, "what the hell do you want?" He was breathing heavy.
"Do you wanna hang out?" Blaine flashed a sweet little smile.
Sam shook his head and looked back at Blaine. "Don't I look like I'm kind of busy? Are you that stupid?"
"No, Sam, I just-"
"Go away," Sam grabbed the weights again.
Blaine scoffed, "Fine! Rather not speak to an ass anyway!"
---GLEE---
That night Puck and Finn walked into the only men's underpants store in Ohio. Puck knew this place like the back of his hand, so within minutes he'd grabbed speedos and underpants and found himself in the patterned briefs aisle. Finn was easily falling behind. "Puck?" Finn laughed as he approached, "you buy your cartoon undies here, don't you?"
"Of course I do!" Puck smiled as he pulled a pair of tighty whities covered in four leaf clovers out. "So let's see how your speedo looks on you!"
In the dressing room, Finn looked at his ass the second he pulled his speedo on. He gave it a nice slap, too. He was surprised at Puck's skill for finding good undies and speedos.
Puck turned around and nodded, he seemed rather happy with his choice. "Let me see the back."
Finn turned around and waited for a moment. Puck went for the waist of his speedo, and yanked. Finn cried out as his legbands snapped right into his crack. The spandex rubbed its way right up the crack and began its long stretch to his shoulders. He jumped up and down to attempt to alleviate the pain his friend was causing in his rear. "Puck!"
His friend finally let go, and Finn could see his satisfaction. "Had to see what they'd be like in the wedgie shoot."
Finn rolled his eyes, "a little warning would've been nice?"
"Okay, well then put on Jake's so we can test his out," Puck commanded.
"No!" Finn refused, "it's your turn. You're body is more like his anyway. He's your brother."
"Fine," Puck sighed. With that he quickly found himself wearing the tight clover covered briefs. A pair that sat a bit loose on his behind, since it had to fit on his brother's huge bubble butt. "You know I'm gonna like this, right?"
Finn laughed as he turned his friend around. "I know it still hurts you atleast."
Puck felt his friend grab the waistband but not pull. He waited for a minute, and then another. "You gonna yank?"
Finn smiled, and a minute later gave a nice big pull to the underwear, "Wedgie time!"
Puck was easily brought to his knees by his friend's pulling. The military training clearly helped him gain some strength! Puck's ass was wedgied and hanging out in two seconds. Every yank was torture on his ass, and made Puck grab his squished crotch tighter. "Finn!"
"Wedgie!" Finn yelled, only to yank the briefs right over his friends head. Finn then proceeded to grab the legholes and yank on those, "this actually is really fun!"
"Finn!" Puck shouted again, "seriously get off me."
Finn finally did as told with a chuckle, "we still got like 10 more pairs to test!"
"An half are yours," Puck growled, "so get changed buddy."
---GLEE---
"Hey, bro," Sam said the next morning when he spotted Blaine at the Lima Bean. He sat beside him with a coffee and a smile, "sorry for being an ass yesterday."
"What made you act like that?" Blaine asked, leaning back, "I mean, I forgive you. But why were you such a dick yesterday?"
"I just need to gain some muscle before this shoot," Sam shook his head, "I can't look fat in this shoot."
Blaine laughed, "No really? What is it?"
"I just told you," Sam leaned forward, "I wanna be good looking."
"Sam, you're the hottest guy in the glee club, maybe even the entire school," Blaine reminded. "Relax. Confident is sexy, and you need to remember that. With your body and confidence, you are the full package."
"Thanks," Sam blushed, "I don't know, I still need to work out for this. I mean, it helps me stay confident."
"Do you want a workout buddy?" Blaine asked, "I can join you?"
"Workout buddy?" A voice said. It was Puck. Without any permission he dropped a huge bag beside him and sat down with the guys, "what's this?"
"Working out for the shoot," Blaine informed, "So Sam can keep with his good looks."
Puck nodded, "Well, I guess all the guys. Could use some workout skills. What time? I can bring them all by."
"This was more of a two person kinda thing," Sam said, clearly starting to feel a little uncomfortable. "If you wanna join, I mean, that would be fine. But I'd prefer a smaller group."
Puck leaned in, looking at his friend for a few seconds. "Sam? Is everything alright? For real?"
"Yeah it is," he plastered on a smile, "just some quality Blam time. With you, of course."
Puck stood back up, giving Sam a weird look. "Well, I'll be there," Puck nodded, starting to walk away stiffly.
Sam and Blaine turned to each other and then back at Puck. "Hey," Blaine laughed, "everything good?"
Puck had hardly made it two feet before turning around. "Finn and I had to test out every pair of undies for the wedgie shoot. Walking actually hurts."
Blaine and Sam couldn't have laughed more at this act, nor could Puck blush more. "Anyway, I'll be home... Putting lotion in my crack..." Puck nodded.
---GLEE---
"Thanks for coming by and helping," Puck said, as he walked with Ryder into the choir room. "I'm not sure of the setting for your shoot. I found this beach scene I'm using for August and a killer boat scene for June. What about July? And don't say barbeque."
Ryder stood back for a moment, "just get a green screen and make the background some fireworks."
Puck nodded, "what about the wedgie shoot? Ooh, maybe a patriotic wedgie! Yes!"
"I don't know if I'm really down for patriotics..." Ryder said with a light smile.
"Sucks," Puck said, moving his camera to the wall, "this seems like a good spot for a green screen... Can you get to your undies?"
"What?" Ryder said, but didn't noted to actually argue. He figured he'd have to soon anyway. His pants and shirt came off quick, so he sat in only his briefs. "I think I underestimated how awkward this is..."
Puck shook his head with a smile as an embarrassed Ryder found himself in front of the camera. Puck smiled, finding the perfect shot, "Yup, this should work."
---GLEE---
