Red Hearts

Chapter 6 (Lisbon)

Disclaimer: If I owned The Mentalist, I would probably die of happiness. So nope. I don't..

I've been doing paperwork for about three hours since Jane left my office, and I'm about half done. The pain from the knot in my back is huge. Almost as bad is the tension that's constantly there, caused by stress (a.k.a. Jane). This paperwork isn't helping, either. The pain has gone from a low, constant throbbing, to a feeling resembling that of getting stabbed in one's shoulder repeatedly. Ouch. I tighten my mouth and prepare to continue.

I assume that Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Cho have all left for the night- Van Pelt and Rigsby probably together. I don't know about Jane- I don't even know if he ever leaves- now there's a depressing concept. He could very well be in his attic, using the quiet and solitary atmosphere to plot to catch Red John. I feel horrible for him- when I think of what he had to go through, and what he's surely still enduring... I couldn't think of any worse torture. And to think that he still manages to smile, and come to work, and think with a perfectly clear mind... wow. It's no wonder that I love him. And then he does things like this- coming to check on me in my office late at night... wait! Coming to check on me late at night? I look up, and there he is- sitting on my couch, watching me intently. And to think I just thought about loving him while he was here- oh God! He probably knows- well, of course he knows. He always knows what I'm thinking, no matter what. Why should tonight be any different? Maybe because this is the same subject under which he, the man who can remember 30 items in order after merely looking over them, 'forgot' that he said, "Love you," to me? How could he? Did he mean it? That's the question. Oh God- I'm rambling in my own mind. How awful is that?

"Jane, care to help? Or are you just going to sit there and smile at me all night long?" I finally say.

"Help? Definitely not. Sit here and smile? If you'll allow it."

Crap. "Jane. Shouldn't you get some sleep tonight?" I ask, more gently.

"Teresa. You know I can't sleep. What would be the point of that?" He stares me down. "And besides, it's so much more fun to watch you debate with yourself internally," he adds cheerfully.

Oh geez. There went all of my secrets. I think I'll ignore that last statement. "Jane. That's an order. I'm ordering you to go and try to sleep."

"Someone's being a hypocrite. I could say the same thing to you. Why don't you go sleep, Lisbon?"

"Why do you think? Because I have paperwork to do- of course. Paperwork that you caused me. So don't even give me that."

"...I'm sorry, Lisbon."

Excuse me? Am I hearing properly? I lean back and look at him, frowning in confusion. "What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Jane. You never apologize..."

"I'm apologizing now, aren't I?"

"Well, yes, but..." He has a teasing look back on his face.

"And what do people typically do after someone has apologized to them?"

"Jane, I..."

"Teresa. Please accept my apology." Now he's Mr. Sincerity again. Darn. He probably knows that I find it hard to refuse him when he's like this.

"Okay, Jane," I say gently. "I accept your apology." Why on earth did I just do that?

He grins. "Thank you."

I raise an eyebrow and lean forward to start on work again. I suppose he can stay here awhile... OUCH!! I forgot about my back. Pain shoots across my back and I wince slightly, almost imperceptibly...

...but of course, Jane notices. "What's wrong with your back?" He's gone to protective mode. As much as I'm enjoying his company, he's being pretty ridiculous in terms of mood swings. Only Jane... "Nothing, Jane. I'm fine."

Well, apparently that wasn't convincing enough. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm..." OUCH!!! My bad luck is incredible... of course, Jane notices my grimace and leaps to his feet to rush over. "Really, Jane? I'm FINE."

"Well, excuse me for noticing, Teresa, but 'fine' people typically don't grimace like their back is hurting them. And considering it's YOU that we're talking about..."

"What about me?" I'm indignant. As well I should be.

"Well, it's just that you, my dear, like to hide every bit of pain that you feel... which is why it's incredibly concerning to me that you just grimaced in front of me twice- when I'm sure, if you could, you would have loved to hide that pain. So I'm guessing that whatever pain you're feeling is pretty intense."

You had better bet it is. "So what?"

"So, I feel partially responsible for your back pain since it was likely caused by paperwork that was, in turn, umm... caused by me." He looks sincere.

"And when did you make this astounding realization?" I ask sarcastically.

"Just now, actually." He beams at me.

"And what are you going to do about it?" I ask.

"Well, you just wait and find out," he replies mischievously.

Well, fine then. Be that way. But as I look down at my work, my neck throbs, I feel a stab of horrible pain, and my whole back quivers. Trust my luck to have this happen in front of Jane. I don't even look up at him- that would hurt too bad. So, instead, I just start skimming the paper. I read it, sign it. Next page. Read it, sign it. Read, sign. Read, sign. Read, sign.

All of a sudden I feel two hands on my shoulders. AAHHHH! I twitch out my attacker's grasp and spin to face them, and...

It's Jane. And he looks both joyful and slightly stunned. "WHAT THE FREAKING HECK, JANE?"

"I came over to help your back. Duh."

"You scared the crap out of me!" I shout.

"Meh."

"Jane, I swear to God..."

"Calm down, woman. It's not the end of the world. Your back hurts, and your adorable consultant wants to give you a back rub." I have to say, when he puts it like that, it doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

"Hmmm... Now who would that be?"

He grins. "Turn around and be quiet. I won't do anything you don't want, I promise."

"Fat chance." I turn around and feel his hands go back onto my shoulders. For some reason, I'm nervous. Good God, Teresa. It's been so long since you've had any personal contact that you're afraid to have JANE, of all people, touch you? Get a grip on yourself.

And then, I can't move. He starts rubbing my neck gently, tenderly, and I can't think of anything but how good this feels. Dear God, it's been so long...

His hands add pressure and take it away, and the tension and relief comes and goes in waves- he's now rubbing my neck, and I feel sparks of pain shooting everywhere. I'm quite literally seeing stars, and I can't control any of this. It just feels so... good to have some one taking care of me like this. And his incredible hands are doing alarming things to my mind. Keep calm, Teresa. Shut it down.

But honestly, I don't want to shut it down. If this is what love feels like, then I will gladly accept any punishment from the office to have more of these back rubs. And his hands...

They're rubbing circles soothingly and adding pressure... everywhere. It feels absolutely perfect and I think I might be in heaven. Patrick Jane apologizing, and giving me a mind-numbing back rub late at night? Surely I must be dreaming... But this seems real. As he works on one of my knots and releases it, my mind explodes. I think I moaned on accident. My head lolls forward and I give up fighting. I finally relax, and let him work... and boy, does it feel good.

"How on earth could you even walk with all these knots? Gosh, Lisbon."

I don't even want to answer right now. But I probably should. "Just know that every knot is a stupid thing you've done, Jane."

"Lisbon, I already said I'm sorry. And I meant it. But just consider- I'm undoing them now, right?" Well, that was unexpected. It is Jane, I suppose. What did I expect?

"Jane, you're getting rid of them in my back. I don't think you can ever erase them from my memory."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that, won't we?" And then, his hands stop moving. He comes around to the front of my desk and... WAIT A MINUTE! The back rub ended! NOOOO... Apparently I must have shown a bit of my frustration on my face, because Jane chuckles and lifts one of my hands off my desk with a light, almost hypnotic touch that makes me tremble.

"There'll be more. I promise." And with that, he gets down on one knee, gently kisses my hand, lays it back down, looks into my eyes once with pure affection, gets up, and exits my office.

~~~

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