The Secret Singer

Chapter 25

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, but I've been up to my eyeballs in schoolwork. I probably shouldn't be writing right now honestly because I have like two projects to do, but I can't resist. Especially not when you guys have gotten me to 30K reads!!!!!!! This makes me so excited for what the future holds for The Secret Singer. Please continue commenting and voting, they truly do make a difference and only take about a second. Thanks so much guys!!!

**Watch this music video before reading to get in the mood of the chapter; Song: Say Something By A Great Big World**

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Stephanie's POV

I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen my father cry. None of those times have ever been because of me, and yet at this moment, they are. It doesn't really compute that my father is here, even less that the tears silently running down his cheeks are because of me.

I hear Ms. Stanton telling everyone that they can go out to get refreshments in the courtyard outside, and everyone gets up from their seats and leaves the auditorium. In just a few minutes the auditorium is deserted and my father and I are completely alone. I'm not too sure how I feel about that yet.

"What are you doing here?" I finally ask, sick of waiting for him to say something. That's the thing with him, though. He never makes the first move. But I suppose him coming here can be considered a movement towards reconciliation.

He clears his throat, finally shaking out of his stupor once I speak. His eyes glance down at the floor, then go back to me and stay focused there. They're a mirror image of mine, and I strangely find some comfort in that. It makes me feel like he's not as much of a stranger as I think. After all, we can be as alienated as we like, but the blood flowing through my veins carries half of his genes.

"I-I just," he begins, then stops with a broken sigh. His tall form slumps into a nearby chair, and his hand wipes his face. I realize that if I look at him closely I can see bags under his eyes. The superhero I believed him to be when I was young is long gone. "Stephanie, I don't even know what to say. I'm not sure anything I say can begin to explain the turmoil that runs through me. I wake up in a cold sweat these days, fearing the nightmares that frequent me of you dying and leaving me truly alone. I didn't realize how much I've come to depend on seeing your face every morning until you left. It always feels like a piece of me is missing, and my heart can't bear any more pain. Then, I remember that when it comes down to it, I left you first."

He sighs and looks at me with clouded eyes as I sit down next to him.

"When your mother died, a piece of my soul was ripped out. The love we had was the kind people wish for, the kind you see in the movies. I never believed I would get any type of love, much less that kind, so you can imagine how I felt when I got your mother to agree to marry me." He chuckles softly. "I still remember telling her all the time how ironic it was that her name was Rose, because the first time I saw her that was the first thought that came to my mind. The long stem representing the lean body she had from ballet, and the bright red hair framing a delicate face. I'd never seen someone so beautiful in my life, and I almost swallowed my tongue. She looked at me that first day and said: are you going to throw up?"

He stops talking and throws his head back to let out a deep, rolling laugh. The sound is too jovial for the somber mood, and soon enough I'm chuckling too.

"That was the start of a beautiful relationship. We actually started off as best friends, until I finally grew the courage to ask her out and then, a year later, to ask her to marry me. For two years it was the two of us against the world, then we decided we wanted to have a child. It was such a wonderful experience to see her grow round and know that it was because she carried a child we'd made. Your birth, however, had many complications to the point that the doctors weren't sure you would be able to come out alive. Then, they were finally able to get you out with a risky C-section. You were like this little miracle with tiny limbs and fingers and a little tuft of rose gold on your head. I carried you in my arms as your mother slept, and I promised you and myself that I'd never let you down. That I'd always be your hero in times of need. I failed that promise, I failed you." His eyes water and a small tear leaks out. "Oh Stephanie, you have no idea how sorry I am for how I've ignored you, but I was so scared baby girl. After your mother died, I saw the world as this big ball of hurt that never ended, and I didn't know how to deal with that. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't reconcile with the man I was before, so I eventually stopped trying. I locked away my emotions so as not to get hurt again, and I shied away from all the people I could possibly love and lose like you, Carrie, and Stacy. In the end, I was just a coward. A coward who wanted love, but was too scared of what it could bring. Not anymore though. Now, I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight for you, my wife, and Stacy. All my girls will see I'm more than ready to show my love to you all. And remember Stephanie, I always get what I fight for."