Still Into You - Phan

A/N: Part of this fic is loosely based on 'Still Into You' by Paramore

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Phil had never been particularly confident when it came to relationships, all throughout his life. But tomorrow was his and Dan’s eight year anniversary and although he loved his boyfriend very much, it was starting to feel like unrequited love. He loved Dan, but did Dan love him?

Recently Dan had been going out, alone, not even asking Phil to go with him. They usually went everywhere together, but it seemed like that wasn’t happening anymore.

With all this on his mind, this is what gave Phil the confidence to confront Dan about his actions and feelings.

The two were sitting on the sofa together, both on their laptops, with their arms pressed together. “Dan?” Phil asked, over the low volume Masterchef that was on in the background.

“Yeah?” his boyfriend replied, not looking up from his laptop.

This was it, the question that Phil wanted to know the answer to more than anything, “Do you still love me?”

That question made Dan looked straight up from the glowing screen of his laptop and straight up to his boyfriend, “Of course I do!”

Phil sighed, “It doesn’t seem like it…”

Dan placed his laptop down on the coffee table next to him, and turned to sit, facing Phil, “What makes you think that?”

“Well…” Phil started, his hands started to get very sweaty, “Over the past few months you’ve been going out a lot more without me, and we usually do everything together Dan! Then you’ve been getting those phone calls that you don’t have in front of me, you always wander off outside, as if you don’t want me to hear what you’re saying. It makes me think you’re seeing someone else. Not to mention, the other day when you got in, you didn’t come and hug and kiss me first, you ran straight to our bedroom, it makes me think that you’re hiding something from me! And you shouldn’t, I’m meant to be your boyfriend and I don’t know if I am anymore!” he cried.

Dan sighed, he hated keeping things from his own boyfriend, he did still love him, and all this was for the surprise he was planning to give him tomorrow. The brown haired boy carefully took Phil’s laptop off his lap and placed to next to his on the coffee table, then slowly took his sweaty hands in his. Taking a deep breath he said:

“We’ve been together so long, almost eight years. The best eight years of my life. Although all those years have flown by, with you by my side.

I hold your hand every day and every night, just to let you know that I’m here, supporting you.

Our love isn’t easy, we do argue and one of us always walks out, telling the other that we never want to see each other again. But then what happened sinks in and one of us always goes looking for the other. And when we find each other, we interlock our fingers, say sorry and everything’s alright again. Even amongst our fights, I can’t leave you, because still after eight years, I’m still into you.

I should be over all the butterflies I get when our lips connect, but I still get that warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach, telling me that I still love you, never to leave you.

Even when we argue, and tell one another that we hate each other, I can’t deny that I still love you.

Our friends wonder why we’re still together if we continue arguing, then making up again. They wonder how we’re still together after eight years. But they don’t know. They don’t know this feeling that we have for each other. The feeling that tells us that the other one is right for us, and that we love one another, because after all this time, I’m still into you.” That last part took the words out of Phil’s mouth, no one understood what they felt, only them.

He smiled with joy ay what Dan had just said, wanting to lean over and kiss him, but Dan wasn’t finished:

“Do you remember when I first came up to Manchester, and you took me for dinner at your parent’s house, your mum cooked a lovely spaghetti bolognaise for us, I can still taste it now. Then on the drive back to your flat, I told you that I loved you?

You told me that when you heard me say that, you felt like you’d been set free, the weight of the world, fell of your shoulder. You were going to say that to me, but you were scared that I wouldn’t like you back, then we pulled over for a seconded and I kissed you, and for just a second there, everything was perfect. And it carried on being perfect.

Then ‘Toxic’ by Brittany Spears came on the radio and we sang along, as loud as we could. I’m pretty sure that the people on the outside of the car could hear our singing. Yet did I know that our singing would last forever, how we still sing hundreds of different songs together. And after all this time, I’m not tired of it because I’m still into you.

I should be over all the butterflies I get when I see you, you still make me weak at the knees, you still make a lump form in my throat, you still make my heart pick up speed as you begin to approach me. All that, because I still love you. Even when we’ve had a fight, and I’m sitting on a street corner. When I see your figure I smile, because I still love you.

They’ll never understand how we’re still together, I don’t need to understand either, but all I know, after all these fights, we’re right and I’m still into you.

There are things in the universe that don’t make sense, but we’re one of those things that just makes sense. Easy. The way that our lips mould together, as if they are made for one another. How our bodies feel when pressed up against each other, and when our fingers entwine and the rest of our hands just slip into place perfectly.” Tears were forming in Phil’s eyes, out of pure happiness, yet Dan still carried on.

“I want you to know that I love you, not a day goes by, or will ever go by that I won’t love you. Yeah sure, we may have our ups and downs, but I can assure you that I will always be there at night, pressed up against you, loving you.

I should be over all the butterflies I get when I hear your cool, soft, soothing voice. The way you can make it dominant if you want, or make it sweet and innocent so that you will get away with things easily, because I’m into you.

And baby, when we fight, even if I’ve locked myself in the bathroom, it’s just because I can’t leave you. This still makes me quake because I love you too much.

After hearing all our stories about not being able to find one another on the streets, when we’ve had a fight, they wonder how we managed to still stay in a relationship through that. But I don’t need to wonder why at all, because I know, after all this time, I’m still into you and I still love you.”

Tears were now streaming down both Dan and Phil’s cheeks, and Phil pulled his beloved boyfriend into a long passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together as an apology for doubting and neglecting one another.

When they finally pulled apart, the two rested their heads together and Phil apologised once again, but this time verbally, “I’m sorry I thought you didn’t love me, it was stupid, I guess I forgot that we’re not joined at the hip, we’re two separate people, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Phil, I should have paid more attention to you.” Dan pecked Phil’s lips. “And I have one last thing to say, well ask.”

“Okay? What is it?”

“Wait here.” Dan beamed, pecking his boyfriend’s lips again.

Dan arrived back a few minutes later, with a small box in his hand. He stood in front of Phil then got down on one knee, “Philip Micheal Lester,” he started, opening the box to reveal a gold engagement band, “Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”

A broad smile appeared on Phil’s face, “Yes” he managed to whisper as happy tears fell down his pale face.

After slipping the golden band onto his boyfriend, now fiancé’s finger, Dan held the side of Phil’s face with one hand and wiped a tear away with his thumb on the other, and leaned in to one of their most passionate kisses yet.

Now they were both happy and in love once again.