blue pools x pink skies

9

STORMY BLUE

we went on a date today.

it almost felt real, like you weren't just holding my hand because you're clumsy, like all the waist touches while reaching for a book were intentional.

it's tragic how easy it is to wash you off me, with your cheap perfume and lavender smell that swirls down the drain.

i push myself under the water, watching the bubbles from my mouth pop at the surface.

only when im suffering can i pretend you love me.

I got mad at you earlier.

you were telling me about weird jellyfish that could wrap around each other, and how the ocean was so beautiful and mysterious and frustrating.

I wanted to say, "like you."
instead i blurted out, "if you love the ocean so much, why don't you just drown in it?"

I thought you would slap me or cry or something, but you just laughed and said something about me feeling real emotions for once.

i wish my bathtub was an ocean i could drown in, but i run out of air and return to the surface, too hot and too lightheaded to even realize i left all my love for you at the very bottom.