PS 8

6 0 0

by witchlings

by witchlings

CARNATION PINK

elise shows up at my door at a quarter-past-ten with shiny eyes and wringing hands, gripping her jacket like a lifeline.

rubbing the sleep from my eyes, i gesture for her to come inside, still confused but too weak to argue. she mumbles a broken thanks and gently steps over the doorway; she looks more and more like a ballerina every time i glance at her, the way she walks on her toes, the way her fingers are always slightly splayed in a winged position-

"i'm so sorry to just...show up," she sighs, looking to be searching my eyes for some sort of disdain as she delicately perches herself on the edge of the sofa. "i just wanted to talk to someone. my sister is being horrible, and we live together, and it's just..."

she trails off
pours her head like a weak cup of coffee into her pale, purple-veined hands. hands you would have wanted to photograph around your neck. hands with which i want to do the same.

"hey, hey," i whisper, in as comforting a voice as my sleep-addled mind can muster
so tired.
so damn exhausted.

tell her it's okay. that she can stay as long as she needs.

"it's okay, elise. i promise. feel free to stay as long as you want-

need

-need."

her eyes seem to be filling up, so wet so suddenly, and i curse at myself. i did that, somehow.

she's delicate. it's not your fault.

"how do you know that?" i mumble.

"what?"

"i-" i pale. caught. "sorry. was just talking to myself."

elise sighs, standing up.

"i knew this was a bad idea; you don't want me here. we only went on one date, like three months ago...i shouldn't have come. sorry."

i am caught somewhere between relief and desperation, yearning so suddenly to make her stay, to make her want to stay.

"hey, no. please don't go. do," i pause, swallowing. "do you want to sleep over? we could watch a movie, i have some ice cream left too-" i am cut off by arms around my neck and a warmth against my chest i haven't felt in months.

you haven't been hugged in months.

i guess not. it feels like a warm pool, like a relaxing bath. i could drown in it. i am left chilled to the bone when she pulls away, smiling gently as she wipes tears from her shadowed cheeks

"i would love that, liz. thank you, thank you so much."

"you're welcome, elise. it's not an issue."

and it's not even a lie. i don't mind her being here
a pretty little white swan, crashing into my oily pigeon's greyscale life.

it feels like a new beginning, right?

right.