I need u •jikook•

WHY AM I IN LOVE ALONE

Everyone is silent as they watch Jimin on the screen. It has been three months after they had buried their friend.

Jimin swallows thickly. "forgive me". The last words were directed at the entire band. He takes one last look at his camera, recording the last message to his friends. I they ever find it, that is. A tear rolls down his face as he reaches over to turn off the camera. He can't do this anymore, not like this. Jeongguk is everything he has. The reason he had kept fighting when everything became to much. Sure, he loves the others, but not in the way he loves his Jeonggukkie.

He checks one last time if none of the members are home. He can't do this while facing them. He is too ashamed of what he is about to do. He walks back into their tiny bathroom, taking the bottle of pills he has stacked away in a corner of their cabinet. He hesitates for a moment before setting aside his fears and swallowing the ones he had dropped in his hand. He walks out of the bathroom, placing the videotape underneath his bed. He takes one last look around their dorm before walking out the door, closing it one last time. Then he began walking.

Namjoon had been the one that found the tape. The other members couldn't enter the room anymore. Taehyung was going mad with grief, spending his days crying over the loss of his best friend, not letting anyone get close except for Seokjin, who was quiter than usual, feeling as if he had lost a child. Yoongi spend even more time sleeping, hoping to find an escape in his dreams rather than facing reality. Hoseok hadn't smiled since it had happened, since he found Jimin. Jeongguk was just quiet, like he knew something the rest didn't.

"Guys, I think I found something" Namjoon said. Taehyung looked up, a little bit of hope in his eyes. As if Namjoon had found a way to bring Jimin back, but he quickly lost the light behind his eyes again as he realised once again Jimin was really gone "What is it Joonie?" Jin asked. "It's a videotape, it was under his bed." Jungkook took the tape from Namjoon and put it on. Hoseok quietly woke up Yoongi, who was sleeping in his lap. Yoongi looked confused but inmeddiatly woke up when Jimin's face appeared on their television.

"Nobody can ever see this, except for you guys. I just can't do this alone."

Taehyung's soft sobs can be heard over Jimin's voice, not having heard his friend in so long, only wanting to hold himone more time. Seokjin soflty combs his hand through his hair, trying to comfort the younger.

"So here goes nothing. This is how I fucked my life up"

Namjoon and Yoongi exchange glances. Nobody knows why Jimin had done it. He had left nothing for them, no explanation. Maybe this would make things clearer, even though it was already breaking them apart. Hoseok holds Yoongi closer to him, tears falling silently from his once shining eyes.

Everyone remains quiet when Jimin talks. As soon as he mentions the maknae, everyone looks at him. Jeongguk looks away, guilt written all over his face. On the screen Jimin is still talking, now crying. Tears are streaming down his cheeks freely, orange hair going everywhere. Still, he is smiling.

Jimin never stopped smiling.