Blue.
At the age of five
I saw the world as a rainbow full of color,
As a vision of pinks and purples
And yellows and brightness,
A vision of happiness,
Without sadness,
But as i seemed to grow
There were things i needed to know
Such as the fact that one day,
Now matter how far away,
The color would seep out of the pages of my life
like blood on parchment or water on paper
And fade to blue and grey
And though i dreaded that day,
It always seemed to come and my
Yellows and pinks
Would turn a new shade of blue,
Blue, blue a new shade of blue
Familiar but somehow all around new
Because this time,
This time blue wasnt bright or happy
It was sad.
And I always wondered why
Why some people were rainbows
And others were covered in, filled in,
blacks and blues
I would never understand why,
But then again i was just nine
Nine and naive,
Oblivious to the fact that the color
Blue would soon be part of me.
Blue would be the color of my skin,
My bones,
The pills in my hands,
The very same pills that i wanted to
swallow in a thousand painful milligrams
To put me to sleep.
And soon
I dreaded the color blue
Especially when it reminded me of you.
