I opened my front door, the keys making their metallic voice, and stood in the entrance for a minute or so, trying to see if I could hear mom. It was almost four o'clock - means mom is supposed to be in the middle of her noon chanting. She tells everything to the window. She acts like it's a diary and then prays to see dad.
I hate. It makes me remember everything, every single day. Having such a different mom makes me feel so different from everyone, and It reminds me of how I terribly changed.
As I stood there, listening to her calls, I thought about yesterday. How could I let myself get so... I wasn't myself. I wasn't myself for months now, but I never thought I could get so down.
The worst thing is I couldn't remember much.
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A flashback stung me.
I was half sitting - half lying on the bathroom ice - cold floor. in front of me stood the guy who dragged me into there.I tried to, but I couldn't focus on his face. I remember pulling my neck higher so I could see him, but of course I couldn't.
"what's going on," I was muttering. "am I going to-"
He cursed me and yelled but my senses told me to stay in my place - signaling me danger.
Those signals, saved me from walking towards him, and-
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feeling trapped and hopeless, I blocked away the flashback. I stopped it, with tears in my eyes.
but I was scared. What if nobody will notice me next time?
"I am begging you, john, my johnny!"
I jumped to my mom's yell. I left the keys on a kitchen cabinet and made my way to her bedroom.
"If you could give me just one chance, I promise it wont hurt her!"
I opened her door. "mom stop."
She sat on her porch, holding two cans of beer. I didn't see her drink before.
"what are you doing?" my tone sounded impatient as I made my way to her, and grabbed the bottle from her hands. But I wasn't surprised, I was used to her spending at least four hours a day praying weird things and acting like she's some kind of witch.
her thin shoulder - length black hair was tangled and it lazily covered some of her face. Her eyes didn't look different - they had that chronic tired look I started to get from her. she wore my pair of old leggings with a grey hoodie.
"what are you doing?" I asked, sounding like the parent in that room. "I asked you not to mention me in any of your... businesses."
"You think I care about that?" she had a crooked smile plastered to her face.
I picked up the cans. "So now you are drinking too?" I let out a heavy breath and clenched my jaw.
"yes-"
I went outside, closed the door, and threw the cans to the bin. I wasn't gonna get dragged to a fight. I have been doing for a long time.
My phone's ringtone was playing, and I grabbed it out of my purse. It had the name "Luke" on the screen. When did he take my phone number?
"hello?" I asked, curios.
"How are you?" Luke's voice sounded familar in my ears. Memorizing yesterday's happenings, I quickly answered 'great'.
"Listen, I'm near your house now. Would you mind going out for a drive-"
interrupting him, I quickly added, "I want to."
"oh, okay, I'll be there in five. I just wanna talk a bit."
grabbing my cross over purse, I put my phone in it. I took a quick shower and got out my worn jeans and a navy blue t- shirt. I bended in front of my mirror and added some blush to my cheeks. I liked smiling while applying the color to my apples.
Deciding I looked presentable, I slipped on a pair of casual flats and opened the ringing door. I was wondering how did he remember where I lived.
Luke's car was a simple but adorable black hatchback. It was kind of mini, which made it look cute, and I quickly got in.
"Hiya," he smiled a closed smile. the inside of the car looked even better. the air conditoning was perfect - not too cold or hot and there was a quiet buzz of some rock tune. I definitely loved the atmosphere.
checking out the ceiling, my eyes finally dropped to his and I returned him an open smile and grinned. "sup."
We both laughed.
"Do you mind driving to the beach?" he smirked. That was the moment I finally noticed how cute he looked. He had a thick straight hair piece in the middle of his forehead, and his one sided smirk made me smile back. He looked a bit innocent for a night club fighter.
"so?"
"Uhh, yeah sure." I acted awkward.
"you look thrilled." he grinned for a long time, keeping his eyes on the road.
"oh, yeah, your car is lovely!"
"listen..." Luke stopped for a long moment, making me question if he really said anything. we stopped in a red light and he drummed on the steering wheel.
"I know It may seem like this is all I want from you, but do you think you can tell me what happened yesterday?"
I chewed my lips, confused. "yeah uh, I mean, I was drunk so..."
"I understand, but about your family, I mean..." he scratched his eyebrow. "I mean, is that why you come to The black?"
That question again. When is he going to let it go?
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