Strangers In A Dangerous World (Frikey)

Chapter Twenty-One: Things Will Change

The next week passed in a flash. I never talked and I barely breathed. I ran out of sleeping pills for the nights that I couldn't shut off my mind. I was struggling and my life felt pointless. My grades were already slipping while Ray and Bob couldn't even reach me anymore. I never left my room until I was sure that my stomach was about to cave in on itself. I had lost a lot of weight and I wasn't finished. My life felt hopeless and I couldn't do anything about it. I just stared off into space and I let myself go. I knew I was depressed and I couldn't stop it. The world felt like I held nothing for me. I just rolled over on my bed and I tried to close my eyes. I heard someone approaching me, but I didn't care. I just tried to pretend I was asleep, but my whole life felt as if it was a lie. I was miserable all of the time.

I felt someone sit on my bed and they ran their hand through my hair. I felt the tears escape from my eyes and I felt someone lay down next to me. They pulled me close into a hug and I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. I couldn't tell if I was imagining it or not until I turned around and faced Mikey. Mikey was crying as well and I couldn't stop myself from kissing his lips. He pressed back until it hurt the both of us. Our tears mixed into one and I wrapped my arms around him. Mikey held me back and I wasn't sure if this was a dream or not. So many of my dreams had started out like this. I held him close and he held me back. He kept kissing me all over before he brushed my hair out of my face. There was pain in his eyes and I just hoped that I could remove it again. I had so much to say, but I couldn't make myself say it. I wanted to tell Mikey that I loved him and I hated him. I wanted to say that I wasn't okay and that I wasn't going to be okay, but I didn't. I just held him close and tried to see him clearly. He squeezed my hands and wrapped them in his. He kissed each knuckle like he always did before leaving our hands intertwined between us. He moved closer to me and kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, and then my mouth. I opened my mouth and let his explore everything there was. We just stayed like this until I heard a knock at my door. I looked up and I saw Gerard.

Gerard's hair was cut shorter and he had sunglasses balanced on his head. He was looking at me with pain in his eyes before he looked at Mikey and took a deep breath. He moved over onto the other side of the bed and sat down beside me. He wrapped his arm around me as well and kissed my forehead like you would do to your younger brother. I held his hand before I looked over at Mikey properly. Mikey had on his usual glasses and he was actually wearing running shoes. He had on tight skinny jeans with a long baggy t-shirt. He had a gray beanie on and I just wanted to hug him even more. He was beautiful and I had never told him before. I knew that Gerard was dressed identically because I could see his black leather skinny jeans and I knew he was wearing a black t-shirt, too. I couldn't help but feel as if they were leaving me.

"Please don't leave me." It was the only sentence that would leave my lips at the moment, but I wanted to say so much more.

"Frankie, babe," his nicknames for me shot a bullet through my heart again. I had thought I would never hear them again, "Gee and I are moving to New York to go live with his boyfriend. They solved things this yesterday and I've decided to go live with my brother for a while."

My heart stopped and I felt this deep senses of longing overwhelm my body. Why was he choosing to leave me? Everything was swarming around and I barely registered anything as Mikey got off the bed. Gerard followed shortly afterwards. Gerard kissed my head again before smiling sadly and leaving the room. Mikey stayed behind and I tightened my grip on his fingers. He couldn't be leaving me. He had tears in his eyes as he kissed every part of my face. When our lips finally connected he let out a sad moan that shattered my being. I kept tightening my grip and it seemed like he was doing the same. I pressed our lips together again before I used Mikey to help me stand up. I pulled him into a giant hug and breathed in his scent. I cried and saw that my tears were leaving small wet circles on his shirt. I felt his arms wrap around me and he ran his hand down the length of my back. I didn't want to let him go. Mikey kept telling me that I was beautiful in my ear, but I didn't believe him. I kissed his neck softly before Mikey loosened my grip around him. I tried to fight back, but there was nothing left inside of me except my words and the sadness.

"Please don't leave me." I was begging him.

"I- I have to, Frankie. I have to try doing something else. I don't want to give up anymore dreams. I don't want to spend the rest of my life working at a fast food restaurant. I want to do other things. I want to spend some time with my brother. I need to do this, Frankie. Please understand." Mikey was begging right back at me and I knew that I was losing this fight. I couldn't keep Mikey from being happy. I had to support him no matter what. I had to force myself to take my arms from around him, and I held back the tears that were coming forward. He nodded with tears springing into his eyes before he turned around. I watched him leave me bedroom door before something inside of me sprung to life. I followed him outside and he turned around just as I flung myself on him. I pressed our lips together one last time and Mikey responded hungrily.

"I love you, Mikey. I understand, but, please, never forget me. I'll never stop loving you, ever." I kept kissing him and I had to force myself back to listen to him.

"I love you, too, Frankie. I always will, I promise. I'll come back one day, okay? You and I will be able to live together without all of this mess." He paused with a hopeful look in his eyes and I just nodded, "Oh, and don't hate my brother, okay?"

I smiled slowly, "Tell Gerard I don't hate him. Tell him that I didn't mean the things I said a few days ago. Tell him that he's part of my family and I love him." My voice cracked as the words escaped.

Mikey pulled me into another kiss before he kissed my palms. He gripped my hand and I only cried when they disconnected again. My world was spinning and everything was a mess. I heard the car start and I only watched as they backed out of my driveway. I watched them until their car disappeared before I collapsed. All of my strength was gone. I placed my hand on my chest and I felt it beating again. Something about this goodbye left me with no strength, but it showed me that I could survive. I stayed on the ground until my mother finally came outside and sat down beside me.

"You really loved that boy, didn't you?" She grabbed my hand and held it close to her before she pulled me into a hug. I automatically hugged my mother back and I could feel her uneven breathing. I knew that she was crying and I knew why she was crying. I squeezed her in the hug and I felt her respond to the touch as well. She just held me close before helping me up and pulling me inside. She sat me down on the couch and looked over me once and smiled sadly, "I've been a horrible mother and over the week that you were gone I went insane. I called it off with Daniel and he confessed everything, Frank. He told me all of the horrible things he had done. It was then that I hired Gerard." She was crying heavily now, "All of those bruises and broken bones that I've overlooked. All of the things I have done to you. I'm not surprised that you left me. I'm so sorry, but you don't have to ever forgive me, okay? Just know that I know what I've done wrong and I'm forever sorry."

My mother was shaking and she was crying heavily. I just held her in my arms and I knew that everything was going to be okay. I could feel it in my bones that I would find a way to survive. I knew that my mother and I would have a rocky relationship, and I knew that everything wasn't going to be easy. I just accepted it and left it at that. Maybe we are all strangers, but we needed to accept that. We needed to take risks and try again and again. As I held my mother close, I learned that life had a weird way of sorting everything out in the end. Yeah, the mending process was slow, but everything healed with time. Everything would be okay in the end. I just knew it.

The End.

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Authors Note:

I'm already thinking about a sequel, so be ready for that!! I really enjoyed writing this fic and I hope that you really enjoyed reading it.

Well, it looks like this is goodbye. For now.

Song Of The Moment: Can You Feel My Heart- Bring Me The Horizon