Jongens (Boys) 2

Chapter 4: Inside Jessica's Mind

"And I know,The scariest part is letting go,Cause love is a ghost you can't control."
Christina Perri, The Words.

It's all back again. The memories of the past is haunting me. Love is always a failure for me, and now here it is again. I am so tired of loving, why do I have to endure all of this pain? I'm only 16 and yet I have so many stories to tell, so much pain to share. Sometimes I ask myself, Am I not good enough? I feel insecure every time a man ditches me. But Sieger, he said to me that I'm a good lady. Unlike any other boys, he is so loving, caring, and endearing. I always viewed him as my future man, walking down the aisle, me holding flowers, and there's him waiting for me to marry him. It's very painful to think that the best page of my life was suddenly torn in pieces. I loved him, a lot. Kim and I as best friends always talk about our boyfriends, Sieger is very different from Stef and yet they are best friends, Stef's a boy and Sieg's a man.

Now, I have to close my windows for future lovers. Because love gives me stress. I hate it when I am broken hearted, I eat a lot, I forget about my important appointments and choose to stay inside the house. Where did I go wrong? Why is it that all of a sudden he doesn't love me anymore?

I called Kim.

"Hey, Jessica, whats up?"

"Kim, Sieger and I broke up."

"Why? What went wrong?"

"I don't know girl, but I'm sure it's a strong reason. I know Sieger very well."

"Aw girl, you deserve a treat right now. Let's have coffee at 3 pm. My treat."

"Sure thing! But promise me not to discuss about our break up okay?"

"Uhu, see you at Cafe Venice."

It's almost 2:30 now and Cafe Venice is 20 minutes away from our home so I definitely need to get dressed.

30 minutes later, I saw Kim wearing his purple jacket (as usual, it is her favorite jacket) and she already ordered our non fat, non dairy, caramel macchiato with organic sugar. Oh God why is coffee this complicated? I mean can I only say coffee and here's my coffee of choice can't I?

Kim sipped her coffee. She savored the flavor and the smell of it.

"This coffee is so good." She breathed in joy.

"That's why we order it every single time."

"You want cake? doughnut? My treat." I offered.

"No thanks, I don't need those extra calories right now." she declined.

"Okay, I gonna go and get some. Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."

The moment my cake arrived she start to salivate. She took a bite of my cake and all I can do now is laugh. So I ordered another one.

A man caught my attention as he entered the cafe. He has blue eyes, 6' in height. I just don't know where I saw him but I think I saw him before. I asked Kim if he know that guy and she said:

"That's Tom, also part of AC Atlon. Looking good right?"

"Yup, He looks cute but not now girl, I need to move on."

"I know you Jessica, in just 10 days you'll get over Sieger."

"No Kim, Sieger's different. I loved him, and when I say love It is not just the flirting."

"Uhm, okay, you said that."

I kept on staring at Tom's face. He has a perfect bone structure, and those eyes, someone will kill for it. Moments after staring at him I realized that he's also staring at me now, and he's coming towards us. But before I can excuse myself Kim called her, and let him share with our table.

"Hi there." he said to me as if he's establishing an act of friendliness.

"H-Hi." I said in an overly awkward voice.

"My name's Tom, and you?" he said with a smile.

Oh God look at those smiles, I said to myself.

"M-my name is J-Jessica, and you?."

"I already said it a while back, My name is Tom."

"Hi Tom, it's nice meeting you."

Kim looked at me as if she gave me a seal of Approval given by Queen of Netherlands.

Well, I think someone's gonna help me to move on now. Life is to short to be bitter after all.