Tragic

anerexia

Skinny Dress it was just a thin dream

with stick fingers.

wrapped around ribs

only hidden by a curtain

of stretched skin.

i love that narrowing feel.

sucking in everything,

that's a whole damn lot.

& wishing to clap hands

through layers of nothing.

then put a skinny dress on,

all black with straps

that dissolve in water.

& red lipstick.

maybe.....

if she is ,

not to pale. She will be pretty, thin.

The awakening of night, a nightmare

is this her reality,

is this real?

Real?

what is real anymore?

Oh i don't even know.

The weight she loses pound after pound, sucking in her dreams, like a black hole to the universe.

The laughter of others as in the back of her mind alls she hears is,

ugly, fat, worthless, nothing.

The screams of her cries become louder and louder.

She is chained to a table,

the curtain tore off,

and the ribs, unprotected,

her walls are down.

The demons enter.

Her reality is no more.

She lives in her mind,

she's a tornado,

she destroyed everything in her path,

everything, that was her.

I am anorexia

I am what carves your body,

straightens your hair

and stretches the skin

shrinking the rest of your body in

I am anorexia

I am not written in stone,

people have different ways they use me.

One way or another.

I am anorexia.

I make you hate your body, killing yourself slowly,

from the inside out.

Everytime you look in that mirror,

you are an elephant.

you want to lose the weight,

I am anorexia.

I am the thing that makes others cringe

as they look at you,

and compare you to an empty shell,

filled with sadness and despair,

I am anorexia.

You are like a fish,

drowning on land,

but its not land,

you're drowning in your own mind.

As the world around you breaths

it's all because of me.

Hello,

I am anorexia.

My dear darling sanity

Can you hear that??

can you?

that sound of nothingness being taken away

away, like my dreams.

Only to find myself hemming at my body trying to be

Perfect.

Pulling at my ribs

trying to escape the captivating body

pulling my skin off like a shirt

I just want to escape

but there is no escape

because i'm just that anorexic

I mean that's what my own parents tell me

i'm just that anorexic

that god damn anorexic

nothing left of me but

bones and skin and bones and skin and bones

Can't you see!

there is nothing

left of me.

Voices

Flashbacks run through my mind

My hands find their way to my hair

They grab, pull, scratch

"STOP IT!" I try to scream

The flashbacks keep coming

The razor

The blood

The madness...

"You deserve it"

I know

"I have to remind you, that you are a mess"

I know, I'm sorry

"Smile, do not let them see you broken"

I smile, I know you are right Anorexia

You control my life

Not only you control what I eat, but what I do, what I feel

"You are worthless"

I feel worthless

"Purge those calories you eat, you do not need more food in that fat body"

I purge, loving and hating the sensation

I try to sleep, but the flashbacks would not let me

Leave me alone!

Please...

"No, you deserve all of this"

I HATE YOU, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

"Never you need me, you want me, you love me"

I do, I know

but i don't!!
I DON'T WANT YOU HERE

"oh shut up for i am your puppeteer."

yes, sorry...i know....

"you are a caged animal"

then why can't i escape?

" oh little child, this animal is tame"

I don't understand, my mind is like hell, where ana is satan, and i'm casted under her spell.

"keep purging fatty,"

i know. i am, until the band snaps I'll do it again