My First Love ❤

Chapter 1:

Have you ever hated yourself so much sometimes that you seemed to wonder to yourself  "why aren't you dead yet?" or "how can you bare to still put yourself through this painful situation?". Well if you haven't then congratulations to you because you have so much confidence in yourself. Now picture yourself in my shoes.   

Hello, -smiles- My name's China Ashlie-Desire Coleman and I am 20 years old. Born in St. Juan, Puerto Rico but grew up here in Atlanta, Georgia.  I'm mixed with Rican, Black, White and Haitian. -giggles- that's a weird combination huh? Haha yes it is. Well if you're wondering, my mom is mixed with Haitian and African American and my dad is Mixed with Puerto Rican and White. I am the third oldest of 5 kids by my parents and one adopted. Here are my siblings in order from oldest to youngest and ages.   Erin ( 23 ) , Faith ( 22 ), Me ( 20 ) , Kylie ( 20 )  Madison ( 19 ) and Jabari ( 18 )    As you can see. My family contains 2 boys and 4 girls. We don't always get along but we try too cause after all, we all are family right ?  but anyways I'll say out of all of us I'm more close to my little brother Jabari, my little sister Kylie and My older sister Faith.   

    Growing up as a Coleman was probably a lot easier for my siblings then me. They all seemed to have more confident in theirselves then I did. Why you ask? Because for one my eldest brother Erin was and still is the popular/football player,  Faith was and still is the beautiful popular/ cheerleader/model  or should I say triple threat!  Madison is the outgoing, goofy,bubbly little princess that gets everything she wants and Jabari? He takes after Erin. The only differences between him and Erin is that he's  determined,  focused, serious, and willing about his music. He's a rapper, plays the guitar, has MADD producing skills and makes his own beats. Kylie is my best friend and my adopted sister, she's really sweet, outgoing, funny, real and crazy.  As for me ? I'm the quiet, shy and insecure little girl but don't let that fool you cause I have this VOICE. That'll have you crying for days. -laughs a little- yeah I'm a SINGER!! I love to sing, I do it 24:7, I like to dance also. So does that even give you a little glance of my life? Okay so let's keep going. Growing up, I've been through so much shit that it has me wondering why half the time I'm still alive. Been teased and picked on all my life. Why? Because I'm not BEAUTIFUL! I guess. I'm Fat, weights 290lbs, standing at 5'5 with long curly black hair, Caramel colored skin, light green eyes. I get called manny Ashley , fatty china, and a lot more. I hate myself so much that I can't stand to even look in the mirror half the time. I've never had a real relationship, guys would never find me attractive and I honestly don't know why. I hate being fat and I hate being teased so today, as in May 23, 2014 I have decided that I'm going on a diet and I'm changing my attitude. Get ready for the New China Coleman ! -does an evil laugh-   -4 Months Laters   

One Monday Morning Before School  :  

Jabari : aye China? -yelling from the kitchen-   

China : yes? -answers-  

Jabari : -walks into the living room- you going to the gym later or are we working on that song? let me know cause I've plans with dad at 6pm.  

China: yeah I might hit up the gym with Kylie and Faith. -rubs her stomach- I'm almost there bro. -smiling-   

Jabari : -smiles- I see. Keep up the good work sis, I'm so proud of you for going after what you wanted and staying motivated to keep doing it. -hugs china-   

China: -hugs him back- thanks little bro. you know I had to lose the weight, I was tired of it!   

Madison: -walks into the room- Des? are you picking me up from school today?   

China : what time? cause I have class at 1pm and than after I'm going to the gym.   

Madison: 5:30pm. -sits on the couch- I have dance practice after school.