I wait anxiously for you to come back. I need you to come back or my mind will take over once again. The racing cruel thoughts and killing words will come back. And this time they may not let me go. My are hands trembling and my mind is racing as fast as my heart. I'm scared. "Run. Run! Go and find them. Don't let them out of your sight! You need to run!" I don't want to be left alone with my mind. I don't want to be left alone in this horrifying place of war. The war between myself and I. A war that can never be lost. Victory will eventually come when my heart stops beating and my mind stops racing. When everything stops the demons will stop. They will leave my body and move on to another's. I will be free from them free to go but trap in the world of the dead. Trapped as a spirit. Trapped again.
My monsters will drag me through the pits of hell only letting me see a glimpse of the light and beauty that peaks through our darkened sky. I walk out surprised every time that you are still there. I wake up everyday surprised to still hear your voice and to see those eyes that tell me the truth. To feel your heart beat calm pulsing to a rhythm that I can not mistake for another's. To feel encased in you. Like I'm protected by a shield that the monsters can not rip through and make a mess with my mind. I feel comfort. I feel like one again. The monsters can no longer rip me apart making me split. Making me want the dark to take over and letting it engulf me in its cold corpse. I want to see the light. Feel the burning on my skin and get lost in my imagination of being free. To rome around on the surface and to make home of the blossoming flowers and blue skies instead of struggling to stay afloat in the middle of the dying sea. Eventually being dragged down until I can't breath. Forced to swallow the merky wAter. Inhaling the spirit of my monsters to barley stay alive.
