There comes a point where you don't become scared of them anymore. You become allies. You let them pull the string. You let them take over and decide what you do. You LET them become the puppeteer. You want it for the drive for the feeling. For the horror of it all. You want the ugly to be released and appear as a path on your skin. You wish they would push you over the edge as they taunt you. Taunt you with monstrous actions. You wish that the monster could take over more than your mind. So you become the monster that lives in your head. You want to feel the horror you want to become the horror. Soon you're the monster. Theres no more switching from sanity to insanity. There no more struggle of trying to be between two worlds. You have chosen the ugly world that lives inside of your head. You have let the monsters win. You have let them break you down. You're trapped. The monsters have taken over and they will never let you go.
You learn to love the feeling to gain comfort in the feeling of the monsters. You feel lost without them. It feels weird to be happy to feel Sane. To not feel the monsters.
