You're heart drops at the sudden realisation of who you are. At the facts you've been doomed to; ugliness is destined to a future of loneliness and never being loved because this society is judged by appearance. At that thought you want to fill a bath with warm water, the kind you crave for on a winters evening, and lie there, lie there face first.
The loneliness of life leads you to those worldly things. The topics that are mocked or simply aren't talked about by teachers. Instead they expect you to be sat in a room with a lady who dyes her hair white to hide her age but low lights with black to minus some years, and confess your feelings. So how come in school they teach you Pythagoras theorem and how to find the angle of a triangle when given the length of two sides but we don't talk bout what really happens in life? Rather we avoid them and push them into a dark corner when there're kids who need to learn about this, kids who need to be aware.
Then you realise even your friends aren't your friends. And that doubt of you being loved by them no longer becomes a doubt but turns into reality. You try so hard. You'd swim oceans for them, go to great lengths but they can't even jump a little puddle for you. They don't see you or appreciate you the way you do them. You're just a number. You're just another one of those beings living and breathing the same oxygen as them. You're not even a friend; not to them. Not to anyone. Are you even still breathing? Are you even still living?
