Beneath the Ashes

Beneath the Ashes - Chapter 1

     I had been staring at the picture for nearly an hour. My eyes had began to blur and the faces seemed to smudge together. The faces of my Mom and I. It had been taken 5 months before her death, Dad had just been promoted at work and Mom suggest we celebrate. In the picture my eyes where bright and excited, almost an exact replica of my Mother's. our faces were squashed together, grinning stupidly. That was the last time I'd seen her be truly happy. Something I would never be able to see again.

     The tears had already started to form ,creating a moist ring around the bottom of my eyes. So When I heard the familiar tapping of my dad climbing the stairs, I quickly tucked the picture in my pocket and pretended to be tying my shoes. Seconds later, I heard the door creak open. A small streak of light shot through the room. Reflexively, I tensed, not wanting to meet my fathers eyes.

   "Callie" He said flatly, making me flinch. Even though he had been using this tone with me since "The Burning", I couldn't get over the fact that it meant he had practically disowned me. People make mistakes. Usually the mistakes don't end with the death of a loved one but I guess karma's a bitch. Sometimes, more to other people. You see I used to be popular. Like, insanely. I didn't "rule the school" but I was in the same group. I was horrible to people, and needed to be taught a lesson. And taught a lesson I was. But I had been the sole reason for my fall in society, refusing to come in contact with anyone. I could hurt them. Not that that mattered now. Since then I hadn't looked any of my old friends in the eye, much less talk to them. It's a cycle you see. Wake up, go to school, ignore everyone, repeat. I pretended as if the world wasn't there. It made me feel as though I couldn't screw up again.

   "You are going to be late."

    I'd forgotten he was there. I twisted my mouth in a grimace and glanced down at my fingers, tying my shoe for the hundredth time.

    I forced myself to stop and laced my them tightly together. Then slowly looked up at my Dad. Another flinch.

   Our gazes met and I rushed out with "I'm not going to school today"

    What was I supposed to tell him? I couln't lie... But I also couldn't bare to tell him the truth. How could I? Apparently we were doing some lab in chemistry that involved a Bunsen Burner. No way I was putting myself in a 10 mile radius of a flame. Never again.

   I know I should just ask not to do the lab or skip the class but just the idea of something that could cause a fire in the building frightened me.

   "Okay"

   I looked up, confused, but only for a second. Of course he didn't' care. He never does care.

   My eyes trailed down onto the floor again and my Father left silently.

   That's where I stayed. I stayed there the whole day. Starring at the door. Downstairs all was quiet. Painfully quiet. But I refused to move. If I didn't move I couldn't destroy. If I didn't destroy maybe my Father would forgive me someday. But that's the problem isn't it. No matter how hard you try you have to get up at some point.

    But that was what I didn't know. If you stay still, there will always be someone caring enough to get you going again. I just didn't know it yet.