Faith In Me

.Chapter One.

"Hey. My name is Willow, and I'm here because.. well, my father is a psychopathic drugie who killed my mother. As much as I enjoy designing tattoos and being alone, I look forward to having successful career in the big New York City. But I also feel lost and abandoned after everything I've been thorugh with my parents.. sometimes I honestly just want to give up and end everything." I said sitting in the small circle of misfits in the town of Fairway's local Rec Center. "...I was just hoping I could go somewhere, rant about my feelings, and in the off chance its true.. find people who understand me. Who wouldn't mind helping me through. Who could open up to me.. so I can finally know. Know that I'm not alone in this messed up, upside down world."

"What a life.. I'm sorry to hear that." A voice from behind me said.

I turned around expecting to see some creep trying to get something from one of us in the Rec Center, but instead I'm surprised with a handsome unfamiliar stranger. "Oh my goodness. You frightened me!"

"I'm sorry miss, I mean Willow. I didn't mean to frighten anyone, I'm just here to pick up my little sister Rosie. My name is Gavin by the way." He said walking towards me. He had a cute half smile going on, but Gavin seems like the shy, and awkward type. "Come on Rosie, mom needs you home now."

"Okay, I'll be there in a second." Rosie said as she shoved her journal inside her bag.

"Looks like it's dinner time. Let's all head home guys." Said twenty-two year old Mac Turner. She is the only reason this Rec Center still exists. But why a 'therapy group' you may ask..? She seen too many teens roaming the streets just trying to find trouble. Teens doing self harm to chase away the pain from their life,... and others who needed a way out... To find hope.. Faith. They needed something to believe in for once. Ones who needed a wake up call to realize that things will get better. Well, she felt the need to be the hero for once.

"Nice meeting you today Willow! I'm usually here from opening to closing everyday. I hope to hear more about you some other time!" said Rosie running through the revolving doors of the Rec Center.

"Bye Rosie!"

"Bye Mac!"

"Byebye Willow!"

"Bye Turner!"

"Bye Mariana!"

"...Don't forget me!"

Everyone turns around too see Ernie sitting beside the vending machine. This is the most generous and loving homeless man you will ever meet! "BYE ERNIE!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone screamed through the monstrous pounding of rain that began to fall from the heavens.

As we all take our separate ways into the cold, wet night, I take the longest path possible to reach those dreadful steps of 1408 Hollingsworth Dr. The foster home I never wanted. I feel so alone.. all the time. But it isn't like my childhood was any different than it is now. I bet you're a bit confused on why I say this, huh? Okay, I'll give you a backstory...

So, the reason I say my teenage years don't have a difference than my childhood, is simply because the way I was raised, and how my life went.. As a child, I grew up in one of the most abusive homes in the state. The teachers always had an eye on me to why I constantly wore jeans, and jackets everyday. I never wanted to give anyone the slightest clue as to what happened after the doors of 2840 North West Rd. were shut, and locked... It all was a complete nightmare. I survived off of dirty creek water, and the leftover foods from the dumpster behind the bar my mom brings home. My mom?.. She's an aggressive drinker who works at the local bar, Jack Daniels, to earn a scratching $25 to support the family each week. But that's only on a good week at that. My dad? My goodness,.. Don't get me started. This man, along with my mother, are not even close to the people I'd like to call 'role models' ever. He's a high school and college dropout,.. He felt, just like every other child on this messed up Earth, that education would do nothing to support the way they went through life. At first, I wondered why he still felt this way about it all.. he used to be the best brain surgeon in the North East side of the United States.. But now? He's a fucking drug addict and dealer! What kind of daughter would I be if I said I was proud to call him my father? Exactly. I wouldn't. This man never did a thing to support the family since it was created. How are things now you say?.. Look at us. I'm finally sixteen. I was taken away by the police, on scene, to a foster home across town when my father was finally busted for drugs.. and come to find out, shooting my mother 'til death. My mom, now six feet under, was shot by her husband while on her closing hour at the bar. Living with these foster kids make me feel completely useless,.. meaningless to life. Everyone knows that once you become a teenager it's impossible to get adopted. So why the hell am I here? My only escape from everything is designing tattoos and writing countless letters to my father in prison. But like he'd ever actually get a chance to reply to me, let alone read them, he's locked away in the psychological department. One wrong move, and it's all over for us.

Reaching the dreadful steps of 1408, I slowly turned the doorknob hoping everyone is busy with dinner, or messing up someone's peace, so that I am able to creep upstairs without disturbance. But with my luck, the minute I step inside I have Elle and Avery asking about my day. I've been here a week so far and they already want to know every little thing in my life. I realize that I never really had a mother figure growing up, but it really wont make a difference to start now. Are you confused? No. Don't be. I have two women as the foster parents, and I'm okay with that. Why? I now get twice the motherly love that I never had before.. that's why.

As I climb the endless staircase, I'm tossed left and right by the millions of screaming children stampedeing down the stairs. I began to lose my balance after accidentally stepping on one of the children's feet, but the handy handrail came to my rescue right on time. I finally reached my room when Elle yelled for dinner.

"I'm not hungry. May i eat later on?" I yelled from my doorway. It's quite uncomfortable to eat around everyone for me. I'm very to myself, and do not prefer crowds.. is it weird? Probably so. My life itself hasn't always been so 'normal' anyways.

"You have until midnight Willow. Please don't starve yourself up there." Avery replied.

"Yes ma'am."

After a couple minutes the whole house is silent. Downstairs, the family began to pray. Just because I'm not eating with them at the present moment, however, does not mean I don't pray with them. "God is good. God is great. Let us thank you for our food. We bow our heads. We all are fed. May you give us Lord our daily bread.. Amen."

"...Amen." I said as I made my way to my desk. I pulled open the notebook labeled Dad on the front cover.

Dear Dad, 

Today is the last day of my first week in my foster home. I miss my mom so much, i wish you never did such a thing. As much as i love you both for being my parents, i really feel it was good for me that you both are no longer with me. That im out here. Away from all those horrible things you both put me through. You are my father, you will forever be. But i will not be proud of who you become. Ever. I never knew you did drugs. I never knew you sold them. But if i knew before, we could actually still be a family. If you and mom weren't complete drunkies all the fucking time, maybe i wouldn't be the way i am today. Did you know every time i see a bottle of wine, of beer, or of liquor,.. i cringe at the thoughts of being beaten as a child? Do you remember how much pain you had me through? How much pain mom put me through? How much therapy and group sessions i have had since you killed my own mother? I want you to understand what you did to me. You worthless peice of ... let me stop... Alright. So you might read this, you might not. But i want you to know. Have this carved in your heart, and melted into your brain,.. that as you rot in that grungy, disgusting hell hole.. im going to do something of myself. Something you and mom never expected from me. Yeah. You both my first years a living horror movie, leaving me in this foster home destined for nothing. Well you know what? I have a dream and i will stand by it. Once you get bailed out, if any not in their right mind actually would, dont bother come looking for me. If you took the time to notice, i left no return address. Im here to live out my miserable life. Without you. Forever. Until next time, goodbye. 

Sincerely, 

The daughter you left behind.

As i finished my letter and softly put it into an evelope on my desk, i slip my Boc boots on and begin my way downstairs. "I'm heading off to the post office down the block to drop off a letter to my father. Anyone have any mail they want me to hand off as well?" I said standing in the doorway of the dining room.

"Yes darling. I have a couple bills that need to be mailed off, give me a moment to find them." Elle said rising from her seat.

"Okay."

"Here you go. Dont spend too much time trying to get there sweetie, the post office closes in half an hour. Be safe." Elle replied handing me the mail.

"I'll be fine. Be back when i'm back. Bye!"