4th September
My old man was born about twenty years before the war in the age of new technology or in short, during the early 1990's to the mid 2020's, into your typical working class family. His mother never thought that she could bring a new life into the world, for she believed herself to be infertile and she had come to accept the fact. So when her little Will was born on 10th November 1993 he was a surprise to the whole family, but indeed he was a splendid one at that. Will grew up surrounded by a community of people who had little and yet, they had everything. The working class value of waste not, want not was instilled into him from a young age, my folks were surprised when he did a turn around and became narcissistic.
Of course everyone has a purpose for doing the things they do, fate doesn't guide an era, his was love. As many young men packed with hormones and ego, he wanted to find someone spend his life with, when he met my mother he was the happiest man alive.
Young couples predictably have children, so I was born three years after their first meeting, though not in the way many would expect. I was a mistake. My mum showed little signs of pregnancy because she had an obsession with her weight, she thought she had just eaten too much. It was when her water's broke it hit home. At the age of 25(she was 2 years younger than my father) she believed that she had lost it all with my birth; all of the glitz, glamour and of course, the little handbag dogs, was taken over by the supposedly tedious task of motherhood. No wonder I was put up for adoption after what I believe to be around 2 weeks, my disdain for the lady never ceases.
Out of the hands of mother of the year and Mr Unknowing Father my life was basically controlled by the government in a very particular way. That is another story for another day.
I hated being passed around from person to person, I was the toy that no child ever wanted, I was the awkward, friendless newbie in pretty much every class I was ever in. I never had many friends, I didn't have the social ability (along with my perfectionism and of course, OCD which I believe created my slightly pompous and overbearing demeanour) nor the time to actually make friends. Nope, once you all settled in and ready to give this a shot we're going move you onto the next place, sport, I hope your alright with that.
Begrudgingly, I'd always nod and go to pack my stuff. I always found myself at peace with books because they are non judgemental, they don't tell you that your a 'piece of shit' that no one will ever want. One that no one will never love.
I have the time to write this because I've been sheltered in a 'Safe Place' because the conflict has gotten a little bit worse, I'm 99.99% sure that is because we're only children, therefore any opinion (no matter how valid it is, and sometimes it is more so than the incompetents in charge) is hand waved. I personally don't believe this countless loss of life and limb is worth it, many are dying at the hands of others.
In a ideal world, everything would be alright, like in the many novels I've read throughout my life. bunch of teens thrown in situations of a dangerous nature would overcome the evil that plagues their world and create a better place. If only real life could be like the books I read, that would be awesome but kinda scary in a way.
5th September
Today was quite interesting in a variety of ways, though it was also in many others. Meg can't find her parents, they aren't in this Safe Place; she looked everywhere within the vicinity of them but alas, she couldn't find them anywhere. She begged the person on the reception to tele-commune with all the other areas, after 3 hours of hope and dismissal she surrendered and came crying back to me.
"It'll be alright", I told her, to be honest I felt like I was even lying to myself.
" Andy, what if they're dead?" She stared up at me, eyes were filled with the purest terror.
I didn't know what to say, this whole matter is beyond my control and I dislike that fact, I want to make the world a better place for everybody in it. The world is falling to pieces, like breadcrumbs, we are all being thrown away from those we love and care about.
We are just children, we don't have any control over the matters of existence. We are those who pay the price for another's deeds. I'm scared but I display a face of quiet confidence.
"They won't be dead." I stated boldly, my mild manner vanished for a second. To the shock of the spectators, who knew me to be the introverted loser with no friends.
"Look here boys, the little boy is trying to be strong and brave. What happened to you, bro? Did you grow some balls?"
Ah, the bullies. The joy I have to deal with on a day to day basis, I rolled my eyes in disdain. They pick on me due to their inferiority superiority complex, I could say I hate them, but I don't.
"Ahh, boys, look at him, he's all grown up. Whatcha reckon, college or university?"
"No, I reckon..."
"Fast food worker!" All of them copied in sync, a fit of laughter cold be heard by all.
I understand that this babble is because they have bad home life, I understand because my life is parallel to theirs. In a way, I could be exactly like them if I chose to be, however I have become too apathetic to rebel. I could be like them but I have rose above the hatefulness and not turned on them.
"Hey, lil buddy are you paying attention. Are you even fucking listening to me? You know what happens to those who don't listen to me."
That doesn't mean I didn't give them a verbal beat down (which sounds cool, like rap or something). I mean, I'm a nice person, I try to be but it has to stop.
"Unfortunately, it appears I have been interrupted in pondering on the matters of world destruction, death and violence by the ravings of an egocentric. Why do we need to continue this? I don't want to fight back against you, can't we settle this diplomatically." I begged.
"What?" The largest of said, a confused look appeared on his face.
With my greatest puppy dog face I replied unwisely,"Can't we just be friends, I mean, I really badly want to be there to help you! I know you all need someone to be by your side and guide you in the right direction."
"Hey, hey, hey, it's my business and anyway, I don't associate with little gay boys like you." He dismissed me.
That hurt a lot.
"HEY YOU! GET AWAY FROM HIM, THAT'S REALLY RUDE AND HATEFUL!" A girl who I'd never seen before had forced her way through the crowd and proceeded to punch the imbecile in the face.
What a day, huh.
