Love Him, Love Him Too

Chapter 15

Tori, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. I feel bad for what I did. I’m a worthless pathetic loser. I don’t deserve to have you or deserve to live. I know you love me even if you won’t admit it. I hate myself so much for hurting you. That’s why I need to end my life. It will be better for everyone if I’m not here. Goodbye Tori. I love you – Jason

I stared at the message, unable to take my eyes away from it. I read it over and over in my head. That’s why I need to end my life. No. He can’t. He can’t end his life. Why would he want to end it? We had an awesome time last night. And then I remember how after he reached his climax that he told me he truly loved me, but I didn’t say anything. Did I need to say ‘I love you’ back to him so he wouldn’t do this? Was he doing those stupid suicide attempts that people do when they want their love ones back and if they don’t say you love them, they end their life? I never quite understood why people do it, but I think I was starting to understand it.

He cares about me.

Tears started filling my eyes. I forced myself to look up from the phone and turned to Lisa. “Lisa, why is he doing this?”

Lisa got up from her chair and came to my side, hugging me. “It’s okay, Tori. I don’t think he is going to end his life. He is just trying to get your attention. Don’t worry too much okay.”

Suddenly we heard someone bursting through the front door. Half of me wanted to believe that it was Jason, but it wasn’t. It was Trevor. He called out to us. He sounded worried about something. Lisa called out to him and told him where we were. Trevor walked into the kitchen.

“Guys, Jason is missing,” Trevor told us.

I felt my heart breaking and the words Jason had written in the text raced through my mind. I began to wonder where he could possibly be. He could be anywhere. No, he can’t do this to me right now. He can’t break my heart the second time.

“Missing?” Lisa said.

“Yeah, he called me a few minutes ago. He told me don’t alarm Mom, I don’t want her to worry but I’m saying goodbye. Tell Tori I love her. I’m saying goodbye to the world because I can’t take any of this anymore. I hurt Tori and she doesn’t deserve to have me. It’s just best I take my own life.”

“Yeah, he sent me a text message a few minutes ago. He wrote it to Tori.”

“Yeah and the worst part was he sounded drunk.”

I looked at the message on the phone, reading over it again. As soon as I did, I burst into tears. I dropped the phone on the table and folded my arms on the table, burying my face in them. Why is this happening? I thought Jason loved me? What we did last night, was it to make me forgive him or was it to have sex with me one last time before he said goodbye?

“Why are you doing this to me, Jason?” I cried out even though he isn’t here to hear it. “I thought you love me. You said you love me. You made me say ‘I love you’ through sex last night. I screamed it out loud for you. Why are you doing this to me, Jason?”

I continued to weep. I felt two hands on either side of my shoulder and knew it was both Trevor and Lisa.

“He does love you,” Tori,” Lisa said.

“No, he doesn’t. You said so yourself that he was using me and was just playing with my heart.”

“I know I said that.”

“It’s true, Tori,” Trevor said. “Jason does love you. I can sense his feelings, but for some reason I’m not falling for you the same way he is.”