Please Just Let Me Stay

Chapter 5

There are a few things the fans don't know about Tré Cool.
1) He's not really that crazy all the time.
2) He's sweet, caring, compassionate, and rather serious at times.
3) And he isn't a morning person. At all.
The rest are things that don't really matter to say at this time.
Before we fell asleep, I started crying into his shoulder. Neither one of us could figure out how to make me stop, so I just kept on crying.
His hands ran across my bareback as I let the tears fall.
As I lay here in the early morning light, I can still feel the ghostly touch of his fingertips.
My arms are sore from yesterday. I can't really complain since it's my own doing.
And I'm also hungry.
Hungry.
Very hungry.
But I don't think eating will do me any good.
Tré was still sleeping. One of his arms was strewn across my stomach and the other bent above his head. His left leg was sticking out straight but his right was rested in between my own legs.
And it felt so good. So, so good.
"I'm sorry."
I said aloud, just talking to hear myself talk.
"I'm sorry that you're in a band with a fucked up piece of shit. You deserve so much more. You deserve so much more than me."
I just kept on talking.
"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

The tears started sliding down my cheeks so incredibly hard.

"Tre, please. Please, please, I'm so sorry."

I covered my face with me hands and started shaking. After a few moments, I could feel Tre start to stir.

"Woah, woah, Billie it's okay. Billie it's alright."

He threw his arms around me and pulled me in as I continued to repeat everything I had said just moments before.

I cried and cried and he just held me close to him. After a few more minutes, I calmed down.

"Tre, Tre please."

"Please what, baby?"

"Please just let me cut."

And then I heard something that broke me. Tre started crying.

We both laid there, crying. Me wanting to cut, him crying because of me wanting to cut. Our bare torsos were pressed up against one another, his hand drawing little circles on my back as I let the tears fall. I ran my fingers through his hair.
That's how we calmed down.
Just by feeling each other, touching each other, letting our breathing stabilize.

And then I felt the sweetest, most breathtaking thing in the world.
Tré kissed me.
His lips against mine as we slowly broke apart, only to join once again.
He rolled over to where I was pinned between him and the bed as our lips kept moving as one.
My hands were pinned above my head as he held them down with one hand, and cupped my face with the other.
"Billie, I love you so much."
Tré said in between kisses.
I mumbled back an "I love you too" as I dove back for his mouth.
He let his body come down so that every inch of his body was against mine in the most pleasurable touch known to man.

His hands were hurting the cuts on my wrists but I didn't say anything. All I could think about was how perfect this moment was.

We continued to kiss. And touch. We touched each other all over, but stopped ourselves before anything got too serious. 

He rolled over from on top of me to where he rested on his side. His eyes were red and watery, and it made me feel so guilty.

"Tre, Tre please."

"Billie Joe, please... just stop. It's breaking me."