Don't Leave Sophie

"Sophie, calm down. I'll be back."

"No, I can't! I...I just can't. Please, don't leave me!"

I turned away in grief. A heavy sigh left his lips before he cautiously walked up to me from behind and tried to sooth me with his hand on my shoulder.

"Relax, you'll be fine." His hand pulled me closer to him as he spoke softly, with the lilt in his voice I had always been fond of. The cozy apartment drifted into silence, and all that could be heard was the slow and steady beat of the grandfather clock that sat in the corner furthest from the landline.

I squeezed a white knuckle grip at the rough fabric of his uniform, pulling him tight as I buried my face in his chest. He ran his hand down my hair as he sighed, sounding reluctant as he cautiously tried moving me away.

Pushing him back, I cried out, "No you're leaving me...they always do... Well, at least Robert never left me." I covered my mouth right as soon as the words had left my lips. Immediately, I was remorseful, and turned around to face him. The hurt expression on his face told me I had gone too far. I was to never mention his slightly unstable brother. On the inside, it hurt me more than it hurt my fiance.

Looking down, I tried to justify myself, but my voice couldn't help having a tone of guilt.

"I know I'm not supposed to think of him fondly like that. Not after he... used me. But at least I was never alone! But with you... How could I be with a man who's barely around? I want to have a family one day, I want to have kids. And I don't want our child to wake up every night, crying and asking me, 'Where's Daddy?' And...Oh God, what if you died? Then I would really be alone. I'd have no one."

A sour expression crossed his face. He didn't have to say anything to convey his thought "If you still care about him, why don't you go back?"

"You know I can't go back...I couldn't return to Robert, you wouldn't be around anymore. I'd be all alone. Are you really willing to put me through that?"

He chuckled uneasily and shrugged, "It's fine. I won't be on the field, I'll be towards the back helping out with the medical teams." He came in to wrap his arms around me as I jerked back and shoved him away.

Tears flooded my eyes as I screamed my heart out, "I don't care! I don't care if you're going to be in the back. Just knowing that you're out there, with your life on the line every second of every day would kill me!" No longer could I hold the flood back. I broke out, crying hysterically, clenching him as tight as I could, not willing to let my lover go.

I felt his breath grow deeper as there was hesitation that grew across his face. For a moment, he hugged me and gingerly landed a soft kiss upon my brow.

For that one brief moment, the world was full of love and life was alright again. For that single second, he was all mine.

But the next second, I felt numb and hollow inside, as my grip around him loosened and he nonchalantly walked away as if nothing had happened.

Panic struck and I froze. I flung myself towards him, gripping his hand.

"No!" I blurted out as I pulled myself closer to him and he stopped long enough for me to plea. I cuddled his arm like teddy bear and sobbed into it.

"Aaron... don't leave me. Please."

His eyes softened before he squeezed them tight and grunted softly, as he brushed me away. Though he was gentle, inside, I shattered and broke down. Falling onto my knees, I wept and blurted out, "Please! You're leaving me, it hurts! Don't leave!"

My body became weak, and my joints gave in to the heavy feeling of agony that pulled me down on to the carpeted floor. My face streamed as I could barely see the figure walking away. The pale blue, cotton dress was damp and had tear spatters that had drizzled down my chin. The laces around my collar and short puffed sleeves were as mangled as my heavily hair-sprayed, curled hair. Right after I had wiped my eyes, he turned back. I could see that his eyes, too, were welled up with tears.

"I love you" he mouthed silently, before walking out of sight. I screamed all that night, until I could scream no more. I screamed, wanting him to come back to me and hold me in his arms, telling me it was all a mistake. Feeling hopeless and exhausted, there I laid on the floor, waiting patiently for his return.

But he never came back.