Long Legs, Milky Thighs

Jihoon/Mingyu [asexual!jihoon]

Warning:
Mention of suicide
Abusive behavior

--

Jihoon's mother was always telling him that love doesn't exist, that friendships never last, that the only love there ever will be and any relationship that will ever last is between family (even though he and his siblings don't get along at all; never did and never will).

Eventually, you get tired of hearing that. Very, very tired. You get tired of keeping those words in your mind. Actually, now that he thought about it, those words and thoughts his mother shoved into his head as a kid are what prevented him from ever connecting properly with others (that and his father, and his parents' unhealthy relationship, but we don't talk about that).

You get very tired because you've been lonely and emotionally crippled most of your life, and all you really want is someone who appreciates you, flaws an all.

--

It's a warm Wednesday when he meets Mingyu. Tall Mingyu, puppy Mingyu, happy Mingyu. He's excited about everything and he's smiling, laughing and chatting everyone's ears off, but Jihoon doesn't mind.

But he can't let anyone know that, no. Because everyone is used to short Jihoon, rabid cat Jihoon, angry Jihoon. The one that's sarcastic and an asshole, the one who hates everything.

So he scowls at Mingyu, glares and makes rude comments even though it makes him feel like shit when Mingyu's eyes dull a little.

He doesn't want to do that, he wants to laugh (not in a sarcastic manner or in a bitter way like he always does), he wants to smile at Mingyu.

No emotions, no weaknesses.

But that's not what he does, that's not what his friends are used to, (the one time he didn't act like an asshole, everyone was freaking out. They told him to stop pretending, they asked him if he was feeling well, and it's great how people think there's something wrong with him when he acts like he's always wanted to), not what he's used to. It's too late anyway.

Mingyu probably hates him already.

But that's okay, he's not the first one and he sure as hell won't be the last one.

--

When Jihoon came out, it was messy. He came out when he was sixteen.

He sat down (and it might of taken an hour to say the words, but he said them), cried and told his mother, "Mom. I like boys. But I like girls, too."

His mom was understanding, she didn't freak out, but she did say, "People can't like both genders, it's all in their head."

Thinking things couldn't get worse, he blurted out, "I also don't get sexually attracted to anyone."

His mother didn't even bat an eyelash, "All relationships lead to sex."

Obviously, Jihoon got upset. They talked about it and came to an agreement, "The point is, you don't want me to be upset if you come home with a boyfriend."

Jihoon squeezed his hands together; that wasn't all he wanted, but if that's what he was going to get, then he was going to take it.