Emotionally dead

Chapter 3: here goes nothing

I continue to run outside to the end of my driveway, I can't admire the beauty of outside because all i can think of is the awfulness of school. While kicking rocks around I look up hearing the bus a few blocks away around the corner, my stomach starts to hurt from all of my anxiety. "There it is, the big yellow bus of death." I say to myself. I watch as the bus finally hits my house and as the door is swung open, I hear the bus driver yelling "Hey Lennox! How was your summer?" I smile and say "Great." Being short with her is best, mainly because she's the only one who doesn't know, and I'd rather keep it that way from a distant, yet close friend. She doesn't even know that I consider her a friend, but why wouldn't I? She's the only person who actually asks me how things are going. I walk up the metal stairs and sit in the first seat that I see is empty, there's not many people on the bus because most of the seniors have their own cars. That is another thing I dread, not having a car, I'm not allowed to drive yet because of the medicine that I take.

I live pretty close to the school, so I'm always the last one to get on, which means I'll be in hell soon. I definitely am not looking forward to seeing people I've been avoiding all summer. I don't own a cell phone for many reasons, the main reason is because I can't stand the drama. Also, there's a thing called screenshots now a days and I can't trust most people anymore. I just want to keep my head down low for this last year of school, hopefully everyday just goes by fast and no one even notices me. I look out the window and we finally get to the high school, I see everyone outside on their phones and hugging each other. This is as fake as last year, I bet half the people that are hugging won't bother after a few months. I guess the start of school brings out the fake in people. I go to head off the bus and I hear a voice behind me yelling "Have a great day Lennox!" I whisper to myself "Great, the bus driver brought attention to me." I walk slowly off the bus and continue to the front door of the school. "Here goes nothing." I say to myself while sighing.