second chances | c.d | series oao

Chapter sixteen

"I'm so glad you stayed, You don't know the things I would've done to Carter if you weren't here," Cameron whispered in my ear as we watched my mother cook dinner from the table. Everyone was currently lacking in being productive today and I understand that. But I wish we could spend our last day here doing something that would leave a good memory.

"Don't say that, don't talk about Carter that way," I told him as I glanced at Carter from across the room helping my mother plate. I've always had a soft spot for Carter and I couldn't help but be protective of him. I hated seeing him feel anything but joy.

"You should've been there when he said all those things to me. How I wouldn't be good enough for you or Camila? What are you going to do about that?" He asked.

"I can't do anything about something if it's somewhat true," I tell him watching with face contour into a frown. I said I would make things better between us and he did deserve to know Camila. But I never said he was good enough.

"What do you mean? You told me you loved me," he told me as I turned away averting eye contact with him, I didn't want to feel guilty about the truth.

"Yes I love you Cameron, but I also love Carter. Everything I've told you was the truth but never did I say you were good enough. I could go on about how you weren't here and how you didn't even try to be there for us. Maybe if you would have let us visit than things would be different," I snapped at him.

I love Cameron but I wasn't going to lie to him. I wasn't going to tell him what he wanted to hear for his own benefit. "It's not my fault I tried to save you from an abusive father," he told me.

"Yes it is Cameron. You had a choice and you chose the right path. But then you took a wrong turn and got lost. Yes you saved us but you did have the choice to stop. No one told you to kill Michael," I told him turning away from him.

"And no one told you to ruin my life," he told me barley above a whisper causing his hot breath to blow against my ear. He got up throwing the chair down before exiting the room.

Whimpers and sobs slowly came out as I realized what he had said was true. If I haven't met Cameron or associated with him I would still be with Carter. I would be living in Miami with his family and I would still be friends with Emma. I could've prevented Tommy from going to jail and situated things between Michael and I.

Instead, I got something between the two worlds of good and bad. If I haven't met Cameron I wouldn't have all the support I have today. I wouldn't have Camila.

I wouldn't have Nash bringing me food every week and his witty comments. I wouldn't have the Jacks to drag me out of the house to take me on exhilarating adventures. I wouldn't have Hayes as a shoulder to cry on. I wouldn't have Matt to keep my organized. I wouldn't have Shawn to keep another side of me sheltered. I wouldn't have Taylor to bring out the dare devil in me. I wouldn't have Ayo to help me be a better parent. I wouldn't have Natasha as my boss and sister. I wouldn't have Holden to teach me new things. I wouldn't have Carter to teach me how to love.

So much has happened over time and I know there are many obstacles to dodge but everything will get better. I don't regret meeting Cameron, he's the reason why my present is everything I could have asked for.

I feel a pair a hand grip my sides pulling me against them. I quickly reacted before realizing the familiar scent that soothed me. I had forgotten I was surrounded by everyone and my mother seemed concerned. "Are you okay?" Carter asked pulling my off the stool and pressing my head gently against his chest.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said pulling away slightly before being pulled back. He lead me into a separate room and when I knew we were away from the others my emotions were overwhelmed and I sobbed.

"You have to talk to me, tell me what happened. Stop running away from your problems," he told me brushing his fingers through my hair.

I didn't want to explain what had caused my previous state knowing I would fall apart again. "I'm fine Carter, just understand I need to be alone," I told him as I tried to walk away but he would let me.

"I'm not going to let you walk away again. Not until you tell me what's wrong with you. I'm tired of you keeping secrets from me," he said told me in concern.

"Why can't you just leave me alone me? I don't need this, I don't need your comfort because I don't deserve it. I have so much in my life I'm not grateful for. Like Cameron," I sob beginning to hyperventilate. I never was the one for talking about my emotions. But now that I am it's as if everything I've been holding in for all my life was pouring out.

"What about Cameron?" He asks.

"Everything changed because of him. Maybe if I never met him things would be different but no. This isn't how I planned out my future. Single parent and fighting for custody over my child. But I couldn't ask for more because I've met so many amazing people," I told him only adding more confusion into his expression.

"What does this have to do with why you are crying?" He asks wiping away the fresh tears recently falling.

"Because Carter, tell me why I doubted myself. Why I thought for even a second that my life would be better if I haven't met Cameron or you or anyone else that has supported me. Because without Cameron I wouldn't have Camila and without you she wouldn't be the way she is. I should've never regretted the decisions I've made in the past. So no Carter, I do t deserve your sympathy," I sobbed.

"Katherine you're hyperventilating. You need to calm down before something happens," he told me as I control my breathing to its average pace. Without the people in my life I wouldn't have made it. The people in your life are what keep you grounded and help you through the obstacles  you from making the wrong decisions. I have all of that but regretting all those people caused me a lifetime of guilt. "Let's go, I want to take you some place."
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