Roll To Me (A Bam Margera Love Story.)

I don't trust myself to fall in love again.

An hour after Bam and I showed up at Ryan's he had drunken enough to not feel his sickness, so the rest of the guys decided to come over, all getting thoroughly trashed within the first hour of being here. Bam and I having been here for 2 hours now, were completely shit faced. Steve-O, Wee man, Chris, and Preston were all playing strip poker with 2 girls from the crew that I haven't met yet. Lance and Tremaine were sitting on the couch watching Ryan drunkenly try to make a sandwich, which they seemed quite entertained watching. I got up from my seat on the counter next to Ryan's sandwich, if you could even call it that. I made my way over to the balcony doors on the other side of the hotel room, stumbling all the way there, I'm sure, but I couldn't tell seeing as I wasn't coming to my senses anytime soon. I pulled the sliding door open, and stepped outside leaving the door cracked open behind me.

I stood on the edge of the balcony leaning against it just taking in the warm breeze of summer. I closed my eyes just letting my mind spin along with the breeze sweeping past my face. I smiled, and felt at peace for the first time in ages. I must not of heard the door open and close, but before I knew it, two tattooed arms were wrapping around my waist. I didn't have to look back to know who It was, I knew his scent, that  was filling my nostrils. "You really are something beautiful, you know?" he whispered into my ear, resting his head in the crook of my neck. I felt the butterflies attack my stomach. I shivered as he kissed my neck softly. Is this really happening? A guy that I've idolized for years, who just yesterday hated me, is coming onto me? I decided I was too drunk to try and think these things through, that I would just go with it. "Maybe, the reason I was so scared to trust you, the reason that I treated you terribly is because it scared me that the first time I laid eyes on you, I felt butterflies in my stomach for the first time in years, or that I couldn't stop thinking about your eyes and how I wouldn't mind looking into them forever, maybe it's because I don't trust myself to fall in love again..." he trailed off, beginning to walk away, but because I was running on impulse, I grabbed his hand, pulling him back to me, and crashing my lips onto his. He immediately kissed me back with a  passion that I had never felt before.

~*~

I woke up the next morning, naked in bed with Bam. I layed there in bed with his arms around my waist and the sound of him snoring gently, trying to take in everything that had happened. I remember him whispering into my neck that he hasn't felt this way about anyone in a long time, before he fell asleep. I felt him begin to stir, and I closed my eyes to act like I hadn't woken yet. He woke up and sighed sadly, as he stroked my hair, and kissed my head, "I'm sorry." He whispered as he climbed out of bed and got dressed, writing a note and leaving it on the bed side table. As soon as he was gone, I reached for the note. My whole world came crashing down around me as I read the words on the page;

'Dear Libby,

 I'm sorry to break your heart, but about last night, all it was, was sex. Yeah, I'm a dick, because I fed you a bunch of lies to get it, but what can I say? You're hot and I was drunk and horny. There is nothing between us, and no, I don't want to be friends, it was a quick fuck and now it's done. We work together and that is all. Thanks for last night.'

I cried, littering the paper with tears. I was used by the one person that I admired more than anyone else. I don't know if I can work for them anymore. Having to see Bam everyday, I don't think I can do it.

~*~

I walked over to Tremaine, who was surrounded by all of the crew members, including Bam. Once Tremaine saw the expression on my face, which was a mix of anger, sadness and confusion, his smile dropped and everyone turned to look at me as well, all except for Bam, who just frowned and started messing with his phone. "Jeff, I'm sorry, but I can't work with you guys anymore. It's been a pleasure knowing all of you, well almost all of you, I guess, but I can't be of service anymore. I guess, Bam has run off another photographer, huh? Bye guys." I said before stepping on my skateboard and riding away. I could hear them all shouting after me, and several of them tried to chase me, but I was too fast. I got to a café that Ry showed me, and ordered a coffee, before calling a taxi. Within 15 minutes the cab pulled up outside and I went and got in, giving the driver Lydia's address. Her and Steve-O are seeing each other now, and I couldn't be more happy for her. I walked into the house, showered, put on some sweats and a baggy Jackass shirt and just layed in bed all day, watching Viva La Bam all day, crying every so often over Bam's smile. My phone had been blowing up all day. I looked at the screen, seeing 15 texts and 7 calls from Ryan, 4 calls from Jeff, 17 texts from Steve-O, 3 calls from Preston and Wee man, and 12 calls from Lance. Wow, they really did care about me, but I just can't do it. I can't be around Bam, seeing him laugh and smile all day, knowing what happened between us.

My phone run again, it was Ryan. I decided to answer this time.

"Hello?" I answered sadly.

"Libby? Oh my god, I've been trying to get in  touch with you all day. No one has been able to find you or Bam since you gave us the news."  He said worriedly. I sat there not knowing what to say for a moment.

"Bam's missing?" I asked him quietly.

"Yeah, Bam took off running after you, and we haven't been able to find him either. What happened, Libby? Why did you quit? Didn't you like being with all of us, we all love you hanging out with you." He said sorrowfully. I sighed sadly. I hated seeing Ryan upset.

"Ryan, I'm gong to tell you what happened, but it's just between us, okay?" I questioned, he agreed and I told him everything about last night.

He huffed angrily after I had finished, "What an asshole. I don't even know who he is anymore. But, if I'm honest, I think it's breaking his heart to break yours. I haven't seen him so down in months like what he was today. He would just sit on his phone and look all sad, or stare off in the distance, thinking. It's not like him at all. I think he is pushing you away, because he's scared. I mean, he did chase after you today."

I finished my conversation with Ryan and then hung up. I sat in bed thinking over what Ryan had said, and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

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Sorry, I know it isn't the best, but I had to update, and this is what I have, so I hope you like it. Comment, Vote, Follow. You know the routine. <3 I love you guys, thanks for reading.