Roll To Me (A Bam Margera Love Story.)

'Maybe It Was Wrong Of Me To Think I could Keep You'

 'Maybe it was wrong of me to think I could keep you.'  The song played bitterly, almost sounding taunting, like it knew that I would take the line to heart. Or maybe I'm just losing my damn mind. Yeah, that's it, I'm going crazy. I hate myself, I really do. I don't hate myself for sleeping with him. I don't hate myself for taking it to heart, and not just having sex, but it actually meaning something, on my part. I hate myself, because I'm letting it consume me. I was so hurt by the fact that I was just a quick fuck. I would be hurt even if this person wasn't anybody special to me, but it's Bam Margera we're talking about, and he was my idol. Even now I can't bring myself to admire him any less. I want to be mad at him, I want to yell at him and explain how hurt I was by what he did, I want to feel anything but how feel, but none of that is happening. I'm not mad, I'm not going to yell at him, and my feelings aren't going to change any time soon. I want to be mad, but I'm not mad at him or myself. I'm upset with him and disappointed in myself. Upset with him because he left and left nothing but a note. Disappointed in myself for caring so much. "There is nothing between us, and no, I don't want to be friends, it was a quick fuck and now it's done." I said aloud to myself, quoting what Bam wrote in the note.

My phone buzzed beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I picked it up, examining the text I just got.

O-Man: I'm coming over, I'll be there in 15 minutes.

I sighed, picking myself up off of the couch to get properly dressed for company. Steve-O, Lydia, and Ryan are the only people I have been talking to since I quit. Steve-O and Ryan have been coming over everyday for a week, which is how long it's been since the incident. I pushed my thoughts aside, and walked into my bedroom that Lydia had let me decorate, since I was most likely going to be staying a lot longer than I'd originally planned. She was thrilled when I brought up the idea, and now I pretty much live here. If it were up to Lydia, I would never leave. She's at work, so I have the house to myself at the moment. I went into my closet and grabbed a pair of black shorts, and a HIM shirt with the Razorblade Romance album cover on it. It was kind of chilly in the house, so I grabbed my CKY hoodie, and put it on, leaving it unzipped to show my shirt. I put on some socks, and then slipped on my chunky purple Element shoes. I ran a brush through my hair before putting on my purple beanie.

I heard the door open and slam shut, with one last look over, I figured that this was as good as it's going to get. I headed back down the stairs, and found Steve-O turning off the music that I was playing with a disgusted look on his face. I chuckled and he turned to look at me, his eyes widening as he looked me over. "Why are you looking at me like that, O?" I questioned, feeling uncomfortable. "That boy needs to gain some common sense." He stated, exasperatedly. I looked at him confused, and he looked back at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm talking about bam. Look at you! You are literally the female version of Bam. Everything from the HIM and CKY, to the color purple. You two act the same, have the same humor, you both lock your emotions up inside, you find music as an outlet, you can drink me under the table,  you live everyday like it's your last, YOU SKATEBOARD! You are perfect for him, and he's fucking it up!" He ranted. I stood their, eyes wide, and mouth open. I didn't know what to say. I never expected him to say that. He suddenly faltered and his face turned sad looking. He looked down at his intertwined fingers, and sighed deeply, "He's been really sad, you know? He acts fine when the camera is on, but as soon as it goes off, he slinks into a corner, and just plugs his head phones in, and blocks the world out. He's asked Ryan and I how you're doing several times. He tries to seem nonchalant when he asks, but we can see the sadness in his eyes. He's not himself, Lib. Ryan just gets mad and glares at him whenever he brings you up, I tell him you're doing fine. I think it's killing him to hurt you." He finished and then just sat back, and relaxed like he had just gotten that off of his chest, and he had wanted to say it for a while now.

I sat down next to him, and smiled a little. "Steve-O?" I mused. He looked up at me questioningly. "I think that it's time that I go back to work." I smirked evilly. He hoped up off of the couch with a huge grin on his face, "really?!" He yelled. I chuckled and smiled sweetly, before saying, "Yeah, I have some business to attend to." If you think that you can get rid of your feelings, just by getting rid of me, then you've got another thing coming, because I'm not going anywhere.

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Well, this was really just more of a filler, but I needed to update, so I hope you liked it. Please Fan, comment, and vote. Thanks for reading. Until next time. :)<3