The Treatment Plan

1

Ria's POV

I feel the cool water strike my face. I continue to splash my face, appreciating this much needed relaxation. I grab my wash cloth and gently pat my face until it is dry. I brush my teeth, pacing back and forth in the small bathroom. I rinse my mouth out with water 3 times. I then shoot a glare at the mirror, despising what I see. I look drained. 

My straight brown hair falls just above my shoulders. My honey-hazel eyes look a bit dull, like they do everyday. I realize I have about 15 minutes until I have to be at the Montgomery Rehabilitation Center.

I speed walk into my room going right to my closet. I decided to throw on a basic white tee and a pair of dark blue faded jeans. I step into my white converse, tying the laces. 

I quickly run down the stairs to be greeted by my father. "Bye Ria, try to have fun." he says kindly. I let out a sigh, flashing him a slight smile. I open the front door as a draft of hot air hits me. I close the door behind me and I sprint across the lawn shuffling my keys to unlock the door of my white 2016 Kia Cadenza. I submerge myself into the vehicle and I immediately start it. I hear the engine roar and I am on my way. I love driving. It's just me, myself, and I. I have time to think and spend time by myself.

The Montgomery Rehabilitation Center is fairly close to my house and I drove there in less than 10 minutes. I come to a stop in one of the parking spaces. I open the door, step out, and lock up my car. I trudge towards the large brick building with my head down. I hate this feeling that I am feeling. Depression.

I open one of the two main doors and walk in. I take in the aroma, it smells like a hospital. One of the guards notices my presence and guides me to the room where my group sessions take place. My feet carry me to "Room D". I walk into the white room and take me seat next to Lauren, my only friend in this place. 

Lauren is absolutely gorgeous. Her baby blue eyes compliment her pale face. Her long dirty blonde hair frames her face. "Hi Ri." she whispers to me. I reply with a "Hi." as well. I scan the room and take a look at all the blank faces gazing back at me. We are all in a circle, about to begin the group therapy session. I hear the door creak open, laying my eyes on Ms. Brianna. She is a down to earth therapist and everything I tell her, she seems to really understand. She plops down on the middle chair and takes out a bin of clipboards, papers, and pens from under her chair. Great, daily check ins. "Okay guys, I am going to pass around the papers." She smiles. I watch everyone take their papers as the pile finally makes it's way to me. I take a paper and fill out the following:

On a scale of 1-10, how is your anger today? 6.

On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling? 1-5 (worst) 6-10 (best). 3.

Did you use drugs or imply any self destructive behaviors on yourself? No drugs, but I did self harm.

Did you take your medication this week? Yes.

Did you have any suicidal thoughts this week? Yes.

Any problems/occurrences? Just feel very alone and depressed. Same old stuff.

I put my pen down, finishing early. I observe every other patient in the room. Troubled teens that have a lot in common with me. We all have different stories. At the end of the day, we all go home to something different. I go home to my dad. Just him and I. Once my father and my mother got divorced, everything changed. I moved from a small town in Maine to Chino Hills in California. My mother tried multiple times to win full custody and my dad did not let that happen. I don't know how I would live if I was with her. 

My mother has some serious mental issues. She was diagnosed with severe depression and schizophrenia. She was so cruel to me. She broke me down until I was nothing with her words and actions. She wanted me to suffer because she couldn't stand to feel it alone. I feel like I am running away from a past that still continues to haunt me even after all these years.

At a young age I briefly remember being very sad. I never had care that should've nourished me. I never had the love that should've been there to make me feel complete. Then school came along and the bullying started. Everyone tore me apart; their hatred towards me ate me alive. I never expressed how I felt and I never told anyone how I was feeling because there was no one to tell. 

I didn't have a single friend. Now I have one, Lauren. That's when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "Ria you are up next." Lauren gives me a sympathetic smile. I prepared myself for the speech I was about to make. "I uh mostly feel alone right now. Things have been really hard lately. I am depressed and anxious and that basically sums it up." I cut my speech short, feeling uncomfortable sharing everything. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. 

I should've said how scared I am. Scared of the dark. I have felt the dark many times before. The darkness consumes you. It takes over your life until all you feel is sadness. I took a deep breath and raised my hand to speak again. "I guess I want something that I lack. Happiness." I peek down at my shoes and press my feet together. I knew it was going to be a long day.