Shorts

A letter to my jackass

I don't know what I did. I honestly have no clue as to why you left the way you did. All I can say is screw you. You missed out. I felt like we could've been great together. We could've been a team. But, you did what you did, and now we're nothing at all.

I used to cry over this. I used to scream and punch walls and cruse your name over and over again because I was so angry. I was angry. I was confused. I was hurt. All those months you ignored me and didn't tell me why, I was crying. I was crying over a jackass. I normally pretended everything was okay. You'd start texting me and I would tell myself "this is just a friendly conversation, don't read into it so much" but I'd read into it, like always. I thought you were back, that you would stay. So, when school started and I found out that you had a girlfriend, I was angry again.

That's how you got the nickname jackass. Because, you are one. I thought for months about what she could have that I didn't have. There wasn't a time of day when I asked myself "Why?" and came up short an answer. I started to despise her. She did nothing wrong, she was just a pawn in this game of mine, but I despised her. Because she has you.

I used to be angry.

I'm not angry anymore. I'm happy, cause you're happy. I don't think I could ever trust you the way I did before, but now that we are friends and we talk on a normal basis, I realized I'm not angry. So that's a good thing.

I don't hate her either. I'm never going to try to be friends with her, but I don't hate her.

Although, you could've said why. You could've appeased my wonders. I'm still curious.

You're one of my best friends now and I don't think that I'd want anything more than that. We would've made a good team. But, we also would've been bad for each other. We have different opinions and different points of views. We have different likes and we have different ways of living. We're polar opposites, and I know now it wouldn't have worked at all. I'm okay with that too.

You're happy. I'm happy. Everybody is happy.

The girl who is most definitely not her