What Do You See?

Why?

Day by day a question never skips my head,
Why?
Day by day, when I remember those times, I do this thing every time:
Cry.

I can't forget my past,
I can't move on to my present,
Can't think about my future,
Because of my unanswered question:
Why?

My decisions in life blurred,
My outlook became obscure.
I don't know what to do,
I can't stop thinking about you.

I am mad for you left me,
But you're my dad, who took care of me.
Yet, after all those times,
Why the lie?

I was still young by then, so I couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend, and they couldn't tell me why.
Now I'm older, I came to wonder.
But everything they say to me is just useless ponder.

More questions crowded in my head,
All of them unanswered, until his death.
The date September 19, I couldn't forget.
Somewhere in the world his grave stands,
Unknown to me, which I couldn't stand.

More years had passed, I am now an adult,
I came looking for his grave, and tried to be brave.
"Courage my darling," he once said.
"A time will come when you'll need it the most,"

He paused as he stoked my hair,
Led me outside to breathe some air.
"Always be prepared...for the best or for worst."
Sadness was seen in his eyes,
But I was just a child, with an innocent mind.

Even though I'm older, the same question lingers in my head.
Longing to be answered, but no longer can be questioned.
For I am alone by this time,
Because my mom had just died.

Unfortunate for me, my lover is not yet at sight.
My fear of living without a love of my life,
Might as well come true, until the day I die.
But fear not my dear self,
I wasn't born to die alone, I know.

Still crouching by his grave, it started snowing,
A sign I must go now, and stop sobbing.
Time to visit my mother's grave,
Just to once again cry.

Oh how lonely I am, through my life,
Only a question keeping me company,
Why?
Chanting a silent prayer,
To my surprise, I saw my father...beside my mother, ultimately, holding hands together.

I stood in front of his grave, frozen.
I couldn't comprehend what has happened.
I saw my parents, miraculously together.
I was in a standstill, failing to pull myself together.

It suddenly became colder,
The moment they came closer.
I took a step back, afraid of what was happening.
My cheeks started burning, my tears overflowing.

"Courage, my darling," my deceased father began.
"I love you." I replied, attempting to hug him,
While my mother stood there, watching me.
I felt his warmth that I've been longing
No longer thinking of the question lingering.

"I'm sorry dear, I left too early. I had to go, please forgive me." He said, voice full of regret.
Curiosity got me, caused me to fret.
"Why?" My heart pounding hard on my chest,
Afraid that his answer I might soon regret.

To my utter disappointment, he didn't answer,
Only did he said his final apology, and gestured, "farewell my darling".
My mother in the other hand hugged me tight, and in a blink of an eye, she was out of sight.

Once again I started to cry,
Kneeling to the ground,
Hugging myself tight,
After a few sobs and mumbles,
A woman and her son came to my company.

Little did I now they were my step family,
It was a good thing they accepted me.
But new thoughts lingered in my head,
What path will this lead?

How should I treat them?
What should I give?
What should I feel?
This is the reason my father left me,

My mother that time was furious,
When I was a child sadly curious.
Will they love me?
Is it fine with me?

I don't know what to do,
Mother, am I betraying you?
"Courage my darling," his voice rang through my head,

My thoughts are clearer now,
My outlook is better.
My present is well,
My future will be better.
I've moved on from the past,
Lessons learned,
Sometimes, answers come when you least expect it,
That's just how life works.

My dear parents I love you with all my heart,
I shall continue my journey,
With all my might.
My cup of courage is full,
Let me see you during full moon.

Father, your other family has accepted me,
I know what to do.
Courage, you say to me,
Then that I shall use.
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Hi!..note..this was shotgun made as well...I did not reread this but meh post it anyways...just point out my mistakes...which I know are MANY.....don't forget to vote and comment!!! Thank you very much for reading..love y'all!!! Muwah!

Date made: Mar. 7 2016 (10:45 pm) accomplished
Date posted: Mar. 8 2016