Love, Drugs, and High School

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Ryan

          This has got to be it…it’s just got to be. The drugs, they bothered her. I knew they did, but why wouldn’t she say something? If I’m ‘taking a break’ from my one true drug, then can I take a break from the rest?

          I’ve been going insane since last week. She came back to school the next day, but she just faded into the background and hasn’t said a word to me or anyone really. It’s clear that this is ‘taking a break’ so I’m not going to push it.

          It’s absolutely unbearable to sit in class and actually focus into what my teacher is saying. Usually I halfheartedly listen, but now I feel like I just can’t sit still.

          At the end of the day, Annabelle found me outside of my class. “Can we talk?” I nodded in response and followed her as she walked away.

          It was one of the first times that I had ever felt awkward and uncomfortable around Annabelle. She was darting ahead of me and I almost had to jog to keep up with her.

          “Annabelle, please. Where are we going?” It was the first time that she had looked at me.

          “Home,” was all she said to me. Well that eliminated her uncle being the problem.

          Once we got out to the front of the school, Annabelle stopped. “Do you want me to give you a ride?” She nodded her head slowly.

          She bolted off to my car, not even waiting for me. Once I unlocked the doors, she slipped in without a word. “Dammit Annabelle look at me! What is wrong?” Annabelle turned her face away from me, wiping the tears off of her face. “Talk to me.” I tried to be a little more sensitive but it wasn’t working well.

          “Just drive,” was all she said in response. What had I done to make her hate me this much? How could I have possibly have screwed up that badly. Sighing, I hit the gas and drove.

          Annabelle walked in and I followed behind her awkwardly. She walked into the kitchen and leaned up against the counter. “Where were you November 30th?” Annabelle asked. How did she expect me to remember?

          Thinking about it more, that was the day of that big party Tommy took me to. “I-I was at a party.” I found it harder to respond to her when I could feel her hate filled eyes intensely staring at me.

          “Where was the party?” This was ridiculous. Why did she need to know? It’s like I’m being interrogated by the cops.

          “I don’t know Annabelle.” The look on her face said that she wasn’t buying it.

          “Was it anywhere near this road?” She handed me a piece of paper with a road name on it. It looked familiar, but I hadn’t been out there in a while.

          “I think so. Annabelle I really don’t know. What’s going on?” Now I was desperate. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t leave. Leaving would hurt more than staying.

          “What were you doing at the party?” Her tone was so serious that I didn’t know what to say. Usually I had an answer for everything, but now I seemed to be lacking.

          “Annabelle, I don’t remember. I was drunk and probably high.”

          “Do you know what you were doing later in the night?” It was then that her voice started quavering.

          “How do you expect me to remember this? It was a couple of months ago and I was drunk! I don’t remember, Annabelle.” My frustration was starting to show but it didn’t affect Annabelle in the slightest.

          “Did you go for a walk? Maybe in the street,” I took a long time to think about it, but it all seemed fuzzy. I remember that all Tommy wanted was a burger, but I couldn’t remember if we went to get one or if he made one. It was all so fuzzy.

          “Just tell me, Ryan, were you in the street later in the night. I’m not asking for a specific time. Just tell me Ryan PLEASE!” Annabelle had started screaming and tears were falling down my face. She looked at me as if I was a monster.

          “I don’t know,” I was defeated. All I could say was what I remembered happening. “That day was hard. I was having some struggles and my friend gave me an escape that I couldn’t resist. I know that I was completely drunk and I’m almost positive I was high. Things were getting fuzzier and fuzzier. I know we were going to make a run to get food, but we walked. I think we were crossing streets, I really don’t know.”

          Annabelle turned and looked at me. Tears were still rapidly falling down her face and I didn’t know what to do. “Emmett…the one I wouldn’t tell you about,” Annabelle started. “He was my boyfriend. I didn’t want to talk about it before, but I have to now.” Her strong face finally fell and the insecure girl behind it showed. “He’s dead. He died November 30th. He was in a car crash. He was texting me when he crashed. For the longest time, I thought I was the reason that he died. If I wouldn’t have sent him that text, he wouldn’t have crashed.

          “But I was wrong. I wasn’t the only reason that he crashed. He was swerving to avoid someone. Someone was walking through the road that night and he swerved to avoid them. He was ejected from the vehicle and his body was never found. He was my boyfriend and he’s dead. How do I cope knowing that you, Ryan, my boyfriend, killed Emmett? It was you, Ryan. You and your friends were who Emmett swerved for.”

          Tears filled my eyes and I tried to hide it. Did I really kill someone? Was I really the reason that Annabelle’s boyfriend is dead?

          “Now do you see why I wanted a break? Now do you see why I’m questioning everything?” Her voice was quavering and her hands were shaking. “I don’t know what to do, Ryan. He was my first love. I’m not saying you are the reason that he died. It was a combination of a lot of things. But you can’t deny that you and I are part of the combination.” What had I done?

Annabelle

          He looked so lost. I didn’t know what to say to him. I still wasn’t done telling him everything. Tears trickled down my face just at the thought of what I had yet to tell him. The tears that lingered in his eyes made me realize how real all of this was.

          Cautiously, I walked over to Ryan and wrapped my arms around him. I was going to miss him so much. His arms wrapped around me and squeezed me close to his chest.

          “I need to talk to you,” I whimpered, trying to keep my voice steady. He looked at me, waiting for me to speak. There was just so much tension between us. After everything I had just said, the last thing I wanted to do was say this. It was what I needed.

          “I’m going back to live with my mom, Ryan.” I turned around and walked away from him, unable to look him in the eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

Updated a little bit early! Sorry it's a little short but it had to be. I needed to get some ground work set. Hope you guys like it! Kind of an emotional chapter but I just wanted to tell you that from here on Ryan's chapters will be significantly less. I'm not saying that he won't be in the book anymore, but for some time it's going to be mostly Annabelle. It's sad to say, but I have about ten or so chapters left! Just an extra special thank you to all of my readers! You all are amazing and thank you for staying with my story! It means so much to me.