Westvillesburgh

Natalie

  So I guess I just start writing? Ok...Hi, I'm Natalie Riften, I go by Nat or Natti. I have an abusive father and a mother who's barely here. I am 16 and I'm a freshman. I am also attracted to girls. My girlfriend's name is Celeste, who I have been secretly dating since 5th grade and we live in an insanely homophobic town and I am suicidal. Only Celeste knows and she thought I kicked it...My life isn't exactly rainbows and happiness like it should be...I grew up being taught that girls that liked girls and guys that liked guys were wrong and a sin. I grew up being told that I have to marry a nice boy and live to be quiet and not have a say in much. I am a girl so I have no rights, or so says my dad. My mom is a contractor so she thinks in the workplace we have rights but in the household, man is the leader. Most people that are part of the lgbt community are happy and have someone who supports them...but for me that's school and even then, I get made fun of for being attracted to girls...but my girlfriend is bigender and looks more like a guy but I don't care. I love her. Her brother is also very accepting and he says he's pansexual and in love with his best friend who is my cousin. So I guess I'll talk about my day now then. Today me and Celeste went to the mall and that was our big adventure....we saw a movie called Grandma which was about a girl getting an abortion and asking her grandmother for the money for it. The grandma, still in grief over the death of her wife, doesn't have it but wants to help her granddaughter so they go around trying to get the money from people who owe the grandma. Celeste also bought me some more cutesy stuffed animals and all that which is nice, but what I want most is to tell my mom and dad about us and them not freak out, but for them to accept us with open arms. But no chance of that. This town and their crazy religion....I swear I just wanna run away....or better yet, end my life. You might, by looking at me think, my life's not that bad but trust me, IT IS. I know, I shouldn't be like this but I can't help it. I can't get through the day without wanting to end it...