Flower

'Love You Goodbye'

Everyone says that at seventeen you're too young to know what true love is. I want to know what the hell age has to do with knowing what I feel and what I don't feel.
At seventeen I'm suppose to know how I feel about leaving my home in a year. A place that has been my safe haven for all of my life. A place that holds my mom and my dad, the people who gave me my life. A place that holds my younger sister, who is a pain in my ass most of the time, but someone I wouldn't trade for the world. A place that holds more memories for my best friend and I than any other place.
At seventeen I'm suppose to know how I feel about leaving my best friend. The girl who had been there for me when I thought I had no one. The girl who has seen me cry more times than I like to admit. The girl I did everything with. I'm suppose to know if I'm okay with leaving her side because we want different things in life. No doubt we'll find our way back to each other, but for countless years we will be separated.
At seventeen I'm suppose to pick a school that's going to give me the eduction that I'm going to need for the rest of my life. That school could be the beginning of me or simply the end.
At seventeen, I'm suppose to have a job that I'm going to spend THE REST OF MY LIFE at.
At seventeen I'm suppose to know such life changing things, yet when it comes to love I'm clueless. All I can say is at seventeen, I'm raising my middle finger to all those things I'm "suppose" to know and putting my faith in the one thing I do know. I, Rosalie Lilian Hawthorn, am in love with Ryder Jensen Allen.
Say I'm a fool, say I'm blind in love, because those are both accurate statements. I just don't care. The feeling I get in my chest when Ryder looks at me is a feeling I want to hold onto forever. The way my whole body covers in goosebumps from a single touch from him, is a feeling I don't know how I lived without. These past eight months had been the best of my life so, if what Ryder and I have isn't love, then fuck love. I'd take what I had with Ryder over whatever you justify as love. I love Ryder and he loves me. End of story.
"Rosalie? Earth to Rosalie!" Kailiope's voice made me jump and close my journal. Last time I had checked she was asleep.
"What's up?" I asked her and set my journal aside.
"What were you writing in there?"
"Oh, nothing, just got a burst of inspiration. You were still asleep so I just thought I'd jot  it down real quick."
"I woke up like ten minutes ago, you were just so focused on whatever you were writing you didn't hear me." Kailiope laughed, sitting up.
"You know how it is when you get in the writing mode."
"I know, it's just funny seeing someone be that way. So, really, what were you writing?" She pushed again.
"Nothing!"
"One day you're going to be a famous author and you're going to have to let me read that journal." Kailiope sighed.
Kailiope hated secrets and it wasn't that I didn't trust her, it's just no one read my journal. Ever. It was for my eyes only.
"How does becoming a famous writer give you permission to look in my journal?" I laughed.
"One of your fans is going to want to know how you started out, and me, being the awesome person I am, will find your journal and show them."
"I'm pretty sure I could have you arrested for invasion of privacy."
"Yeah, but you wouldn't. I mean what kind of best friend would you be sending me to jail?" She teased and got out of bed.
She practically lived here and I lived at her house, it just happened to be my weekend to have her over.
"You're lucky you're my best friend."
"I know." Kailiope smiled.
Just then Temporary Fix, by One Direction started playing through Kailiope's phone. Kailiope picked her phone up off my nightstand and answered it without even looking at the screen.
"Hello?" She said through a yawn as she stretched.
Her eyes got wide and her cheeks turned a bright pink.
"Wren, hi, I'm so sorry, I just woke up."
I smiled to myself, but looked at the clock. It was barely eight thirty in the morning. It seemed a little strange for Wren to be calling her this early.
"Yes! I'm mean, yeah of course! Um, okay. See you at six thirty? Alright, see you then." Kailiope hung up the phone and threw it on the bed.
"Wren Freakin' Greyson, just asked me on a date!!!!" She yelled and started dancing around my room. I laughed at the funny sight.
She stopped mid jump.
"Wait, Rosalie, I'm not dreaming, right? Like we're awake right now? And don't lie to me like Nick Jonas did that one time I asked him if I was dreaming and he said no and then I woke up."
This made me laugh even harder.
"You're awake, I promise. I just think it's a little weird he called so early." I told her.
"You're right, that is weird. Oh God, this is probable a prank. I'm going to go and then he's, like, going to ditch me or something. I knew this was too good to be true, I mean why would Wren Greyson ask me out?" Kailiope started rambling really fast.
"Kailiope! Stop! I'm sure he was just nervous so he called early to make sure."
"Nervous? About me? Haha! No."
"Oh my God, shut up!" I told her.
"It's not very polite to tell people to shut up." She crossed her arms over her chest.
I was about to come up with a witty remark when my phone started buzzing on the nightstand. It was Ryder. This was way too early for him to be up.
"Hello?" I asked very slowly.
"Hey, Flower." Ryder's groggy morning voice came through the phone. God, it was sexy. Maybe I should wake him up more often.
"Hey, babe, why are you up so early?" I felt a smile crawl on my lips.
"Oh, Baby needed a wash so I just decided to get up and get it over with."
Him and his car. I swear he loved "Baby" more than me sometimes.
"Oh, that's cool! Is she all clean now?"
"Yeah."
It got very quiet on the other end.
"Ryder?"
"Come over tonight." He blurted out.
"Um, okay? Is everything okay? I thought you didn't want me over at your house."
"Everything's fine. I just, I, uh, want you to meet my family. I never said I didn't want you over at my house, I just said we should hang out at your house more often." Ryder said kind of in a rush.
There was something off about him.
"Okay, yeah, what time do you want me over?" I asked. I needed to figure out what was up.
"How about six thirty?" He asked.
"Hang on," I moved the phone away from my mouth. "Kai, what time are you and Wren going out?"
"Six thirty." She shouted from the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth.
"That's funny you picked the same time as Wren did to take Kailiope out on a date." I laughed in the phone.
"I know, so see you at six thirty?" He asked.
He knew? Did he tell Wren to ask Kailiope out? I swear if Wren is just playing Kailiope, well, let's just say it'd be a miracle if he could have kids after I was done with him.
"Yeah, see you at six thirty?" I said kind of in a question.
The other end of the line went silent before I could say anything else.
"That was weird." I said to myself looking at my phone.
"What's weird?" Kailiope asked.
"Ryder was just acting really weird. He wants me to come over tonight, but it was like he couldn't get off the phone with me fast enough. He didn't even say bye?"
"Hmm. Boy's are weird."
"Also, he said that he knew Wren asked you to go out at six thirty and asked me to come over at the same time?"
Even after repeating it, none of it made sense.
"I don't know, I guess we'll just have to wait and find out right?" Kailiope asked.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."