"My god, I cant believe your mother could do this to you," Ms. Hailey said as she treated the wound on my head. " Jeane is just too kind to do this kind of thing"
"She's just missing dad," I told her matter of factly.
"Sigh. Do you have a place to stay?"
i shook my head . . . .
"Then stay here, alright. I have an extra room upstairs, you can have that."
"How much would it cost?"
"Shine, just help me out with the shop okay? That is enough for me."
"Thank you" I just said . . .
I was too numb to express the gratitude I felt right now. I am thankful but somehow I dont feel it . . .
"Now go and rest."
"I'll go out. Freash air," I said and walked out the door. Ms. Hailey just sighed . . .
I walked and walked . . .
Just wandering aimlessly again . . .
THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!
I passed the grocery store . . .
I remember how we used to go there during Saturdays . . .
My dad and i would always play around with the carts . . .
Chasing each other as if we were on a race . . .
I remember how my mom apologized to the manager one time when my dad and I knocked a shelf of canned goods down . . .
I remember how we snickered when my mom scolded us both when we got home . . .
It was a great day . . .
YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER!!
I passed the Skating Rink . .
I remember my first time on the rink . . .
I was scared . . . really scared . . .
I didnt know how to skate . . .
And it was freezing in there . . .
I'm scared . . .
I started to cry . . .
But my dad held on to one of my hand . . .
And my mother held on to the other . . .
and slowly we walked . . .
step by step by step . . . .
until i was able to skate on my own . . .
I turned around swiftly and smile at them .. . .
But then i fell . . .
i laughed . . .
good times . . .
YOURE DESPICABLE!!!
I looked up to see that i was at the soccer field . . .
the buttercups arent as beautiful as they usually looked in the day . . .
The moon was shining brightly, illuminating the river flowing on the far, far end of the field . . .
the river was always a vibrant blue, now its just a sad silver streak across the field . .
now that i think about it . . .
everything you see isnt always what it really is . . .
sometimes you just have to turn your back to the obvious and get hurt to truly understand what life is . . . .
life isnt as easy as eating cotton candy at the carnival . . .
it isnt as easy writing your name . . .
it isnt as easy as and carefree as laughing . . .
its a lot more than that . . .
its as hard as riding a bike for the first time . . .
you fall a lot of times . . .
you stand back up and try . . .
but you still fall . . .
you may stand up and successfully learn how to ride it . . .
but sooner or later . . .
even though you say you already know how . . .
sooner or later you fall again . . .
that is life . . .
there is no such thing as a stable ground . . .
that is life . . .
I sat down the edge of the field . . .
"I miss you Dad," I said as the tears rolled down my cheeks for the first time in a lone time . . .
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