Alice Kills

Chapter Ten

I froze, frozen vegetables in hand. Violet's soft finger tips grazed the top of my hand as she took the item from me and scanned it. "Who was it?" Her voice was in the distance somewhere, somewhere I wasn't familiar with. My brows furrowed as I tried to connect the pieces of the puzzle just formed in my mind. The voice on the other end of the phone, was a voice I longed for so much. I'd heard it once a few years back, before my life changed, before I became this new person. This isn't real. It can't be. Could it? It wasn't possible. The beep beep of the scanner was also somewhere far in the distance, "Hellooo?" I clutched the phone, holding it so tightly, as it were the only real object in this newly obscured world. 

"No one important." Violet smirked, "Ha, bullshit. I saw you piss your complexion out. Was it Nick?" I shook my head, "Butt-dialed, heard some pretty weird stuff on the other end." I used the scan gun to scan the three water cases I'd placed into our cart, hoping Violet wouldn't ask again. "We'll have to get jobs here, won't we?" I looked at Violet's face, she was staring at a NOW HIRING sign on the inside of the doors of the grocery store, "What, why would you say that?" She stayed staring, "What about rent, Al?" I continued scanning items, and as she continued mindlessly bagging I said, "I paid him in advance for two months so-" "But what if we're here longer than that." Bags of fruits and vegetables piled up. I realized now she had stopped bagging  awhile ago. None of us small town kids were ready for this fast paced city. Where cars rushed by, not caring who they hit. People shared no similar thoughts and zoomed down streets, their sharp shiny shoes clicking against the pavement wonderland. Where no one knew everyone, and they weren't about to try to. I didn't know home sickness would infect this wild animal so quickly. "Hey, don't worry." I placed a comforting hand on Violet's shoulder, "We'll be home before you know it." She nodded at me and we continued in our part-time grocery gig.

Arriving home, grocery bags in hand, David was beating the sofa with a broom and trash bags filled with dust covered rags and old food were lined up near the front door.  Violet carried some bags over to our new-old dinner table and admired David's cleaning attempts, "Wow babe, you cleaned!" Violet shuffled over and gave her tired boyfriend a playful massage, exagerrating on just how tired his shoulders must be. I started putting the groceries away to find the fridge and cupboards had been cleaned also, "Wow David, you really did an awesome job." I watched Violet play with David's hair and massage his shoulders a bit more. She always was a caring person,  she doesn't like to admit it but after her mom d she became a very gentle soul. ber her dad's death because it was 9:00 on the 9th of September. I'm sure she remembers the date simply as, "when my mom died", and not because it was a creepy sequence of the same number. She lived with three sisters, all  much younger than her. Her dad was a great dad, of course up until the awkward age came for his household of teenage girl emotions. It was hard on him, and I think Vi knew even at her young age. So she was always caring, making sure everyone had what they needed and was feeling okay. I let my eyes fall to the floor, she'd always wanted to take care of people. Here she was, taking care of me and David. Keep me sane, and him happy. Before an hour could pass Violent had a decent meal prepared with "great sources of protein and vegetables!" Violent announced as she set everything onto our small table, while looking at my face for approval. I laughed internally, Vi trying to cook healthy meals was asking a shark to not get attracted to an open wound. Violent was fueled by grease and fats, it was surprising she had an amazing figure, but then again Violent dances for about three hours day. I'm sure a buger and a milkshake doesn't do much for her. While I could manage to eat burgers and milkshakes, I felt better eating my planned out portion meals. Probably only because Nick had always made them available. The grilled chicken and vegetable sides was enjoyable and I rose from the table and said, "So who gets the room?" Violet and David looked at each  other then at me with organic green noodles hanging out of their mouth. 

I found myself laying on the not-so-dusty brown couch in the living room, to my surprise this was actually the better choice. David and Violet took the room reluctantly after I insisted I didn't a whole room to myself. They opened the bedroom to find a beaten up stained mattress, ths apparently was the only room David hadn't cleaned. As I rested on the couch of the living room, I couldn't help but wonder on how things would be different if Nick was here. Would I even be on the couch right now? If he was here, we'd probably go for a late night run in nearby park. He'd claim he still has it after barely beating me in a race, he'd talk me into. I couldn't sit here and think about Nick anymore. I yanked my running shoes and pullover from my duffle bag and rushed out the door down the stairs. I didn't know where the nearast park was, but I didn't care. I ran. I ran down the busy streets, replaying each moment of that night. He shouldn't have kissed me. I repeated this over and over in my head. Why am I letting this get to me? Hell, there are girls out there who need me. Here I am knocking around in my brain over a stupid guy!  I stopped running when I found myself behind a park bench. I wasn't out of breath, but the sudden dark location snapped me out of my internal battle. When did I get here?  I walked down the sidewalk path and gradually picked up speed until I was sprinting again. Nick lived with me for years, when did this first  even become a possibility? I continued running, my footing off from the occasional cracked or unsteady concrete slab. I mean, I didn't even want him to kiss me.. or? "AH!" I tripped and caught myself before landing, my palms stung from the small rocks stuck to my wet hands. "Are you alright?" I shot up and turned to face the stranger's voice. "Uh, yeah." I turned my back towards the dark figure and walked on, "Are you sure? What are you doing out here by yourself?" I walked on, no reason to speak to strangers. I'd never done it, and I'm not about to start in a big city, at night, alone.  "Well, take care miss!" I turned around to face him and waved, I was a safe distance, and my gesture should show my appreciation. I kept walking, the stranger was gone, and the air was dry and warm, sweat gathered at the base of my neck and hairline. Why am I here?    I shook my head and rested my hands on my hips. David and Violet, what are they doing here with me. I brought them here, they are involved, they know. How long until they pay their price for knowing? What do I plan  to accomplish here? I walked on, changing my direction from the concrete path to a trail of rubble into the bushes. The path faintly lit and shadows from nearby shrubs inching over the rubble trail, colored rubble that had faded from rain and joggers. I'd questioned myself once before now, but now seemed even harder to get back up. Who I was before my attack, I couldn't remember. Who I could have been, before Nick, I couldn't fathom. I was alone on this empty trail, alone with my thoughts. I'd never had the chance to analyze the possibilities. I'd analyze my risks and my chances of making it out alive. 5 men in a two bedroom house. 3 men in an alley way. Two sets of fists and one knife. I started out with little to nothing. Here I was, new home, new city, new environment. I have the opportunity to change  my direction. I could see who I could have been, what this person was capable of doing. This person could move past her attack, and not take an eye for an eye. This person could leave everything behind and start new. The rubble shifted under each step, a crunching noise shooting from the ground interrupting the lonely harmony of the wind and leaves. A couple's giggle creeped into my right ear, and I ignored the urge to assume the worst. Some people were safe in their ignorance. I didn't have someone to remind me of what I knew was out there anymore, I have the chance to start new. A nearby pond made small sounds of  ripples that tickled my neck. I followed the sound and sat at the edge of the pond. The moon reflected on the pond, it's image distorted beyond recognition. I placed my fingertips on the surface of the water. I was here, and I had the chance to start over.

But I've never been one to give up so easily.