Tales Of A Popular Drama Queen

March 11 , 2016

Dear Diary,
I regret it. In fact it didn't even mean to happen like that. Lamar. He's always trying to come back into my life. I keep rejecting him because I've moved on. Me and Lamar go way back. He liked this girl named Janet. I've liked him ever since the 6th grade up until now. There's just something in Janet that he doesn't see in me. I would be depressed whenever he would just brush me off like I was just a speck of dust. Now was that fair to me ? He made me feel like I was never good enough. Maybe because I didn't have a super model body, or maybe because I wasn't light skin. Maybe because I was always a few inches taller than him and she was maybe or almost his height.

In 7th grade, I became really depressed. I didn't want to hang out with my friednds or my family. All I wanted to do was sleep. Everyday I would come to school only to get my heartbroken by the boy that I loved. Seeing him flirt with someone else hurt me the most I think. After that I think I changed as a person. I had a trust no one personality.

Today started off as a normal day. Until reading class. Lamar and I are in the same class now. They changed Destiny and I's homeroom. I asked to go to the nurse , because I forgot to clean my ear. ( I got a new ear piercing) Before I came back in the classroom , Lamar signaled me to meet him in the stairwell. There were other people in there so I wasn't so hesitant about it. As the other kids went upstairs that's when everything started going crazy. He grabbed my hand and told me how much he loved me. Did I believe it ? Not for one second. I finally got my hand out of his and that's when he pulled me closer. Then before I knew it , his lips crashed into mine.

I had to get out of the stairwell. My heart was beating fast. Butterflies were in my stomach. That scared me the most. Do I still have feelings for the person who's proved to me many times that I'm not what he wants? No I don't I had to snap out of it. I went back to class and thought about what just happened.

It's like I move forward two times just to get pulled back two times. I mean god I'm trying. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world.. But you do have a say in who hurts you ..