Still Breathing || #FreeYourShorts

[ 02 ] Fluctuat Nec Mergitur

[ Dedicated to Ron — crimsonshards for being the human embodiment of smiles and sugar ]

[ Chapter 02: It is tossed by the waves but, it does not sink ]

     If there's one thing that Aliza learnt in the four hundred and forty three days she spent with Sairah, it was that attraction – strong or weak – makes a person vulnerable.

     Aliza had never, in the eighteen years of her life, fallen into the abyss — more popularly called as “love.”

     Although it wasn't intentional, – to not be in a relationship or fall in love (she just wasn't very “appealing” to many people) – she despised the concept of love. She didn't adore the way people became co-dependent and how their entire demeanour is affected by the person they're willing to spend their life with.

     This is why, she reasoned with herself, life was punishing her for hating love because she found herself intoxicated by the feeling of Sairah's lips on hers.

     It started out as a random hugs traded between the two girls when their meetings started to grow more frequent and smiles transformed into laughs.

     Sporadic touches turned into cuddles and Aliza should've known that she was going too far — should've known that the fall is supposed to be a two way thing.

     Sairah was supposed to catch her, but she couldn't. Not with so many girls and boys latched to her body while she wasn't sharing smiles with Aliza.

     Much to the brunette's misfortune, love turned out to be blinding – way more blinding than they portray in those books about kisses and heartbreak.

     It had started as an innocent question asked by a curious Aliza.

     “Have you ever been in love?” she asked, shifting to find a more comfortable position over the faux blonde as she gazed into forests with an overwhelming feeling of adoration and felt home.

     Sairah had shrugged, shaking her head vaguely. “Not really.”

     Aliza nodded in response, laying her head on Sairah's shoulder, wondering if her parents would accept her thoughts regarding Sairah. The thoughts weren't exactly platonic and she knew how religious her parents were and hoe her religion prohibited homosexuality.

     That led her to the conclusion that she'd be kicked out of her house if she happened to come out of the closet. Not that it mattered – her parent's wiped away from the world years ago.

     That thought was, however, wiped out of her mind as she looked up to meet Sairah's eyes, a smile laying on the faux blonde's lips.

     It had already been about two months since their first encounter and fifteen days since the first time Sairah had smiled around Aliza and still, she couldn't get used to her smile.

     Sairah's smile, Aliza had concluded, was like stolen kisses. It was short and endearing while it lasted, but when ended, it left an empty feeling in its wake – like something was missing.

     “What about you?” Sairah asked. “Ever been in love?”

     Aliza thought over the question for a moment. She knew that she had never been in love, but she was starting to consider her feelings towards Sairah as love. She didn't want to admit it, yet, but she'd rather speak cryptic words.

     “Maybe,” she mumbled, flickering her eyes to focus them on the blue stain of paint on Sairah's neck – presumably from the painting the girl was immersed in earlier.

     “Maybe?” Sairah questioned, looking suddenly interested. “What do you mean by maybe? Who is it?”

     Aliza bit her lip. She wasn't sure if she was ready to come out to Sairah, but she didn't like being suffocated by her own feelings either. She decided that if Sairah was a good person, she wouldn't mind her being attracted to the same gender. “It's a girl.”

     There was absolutely no change in Sairah's facial expression as she ran her eyes over the brunette's pale face. “Yeah, so? Who's it?”

     Aliza felt as if she would cry because she was never accepted by anyone – not family, not friends – and it was rather ecstatic to be accepted for once.

     “It's,” Aliza stalled, sifting through her mind to find the correct words before continuing, “someone who is comparatively new in my life. She's pretty and bold and fierce. Honestly, our personalities don't match one bit because I'm a dove and she's a phoenix. But God, I would give up so much to have her close to me.”

     By now, the proximity of their faces was almost obscene and Aliza didn't know how it happened, but she felt lightheaded as Sairah's warm breath tingled her lips.

     “Would you give up our friendship?” Sairah whispered, arm tightening around the brunette's waist.

     Aliza's breath hitched as she tried to find her voice, but to no avail so, she simply opted to nod – vigorously.

     That was all it took for Sairah to pull Aliza closer to herself, their breaths mingling before conflating. Aliza was in a rapt as she kissed back, not daring to move in fear of having the faux blonde vanish in her arms.

     It was short and filled with everything Aliza craved for before Sairah pulled away and smiled softly at the flustered girl. “Like that?”

     Aliza nodded in an intoxicated manner, beaming. “Very much.”

     “Good,” was all Sairah said before going back to attaching herself with the girl in her arms in a way which made it seem as if her life depended on it. Aliza didn't question it, she was feeling light and happy and alive as she let the girl she loved prove her love to her.

     Twenty seven minutes later, the pair lay on Aliza's bed, covered in nothing but blue sheets. It was then that the brunette asked the dreaded question, the one which she regretted asking as soon as it left her lips.

     “Sairah?” she asked. “What are we?”

     Sairah turned her head to look at Aliza, smiling a bit as she gave the most cliché answer, “Whatever you want us to be, Liza. Whoever you want us to be.”

     Aliza grinned, pecking her lips before closing her eyes and letting herself take a leap from the edge for the predicted fall. She wasn't scared anymore — she trusted Sairah to be there to catch her.

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Word count: 1011

[ A/N: Gotta admit, this wasn't my favourite chapter to write. I prefer writing angst and/or first meetings. Love confessions ain't my thing. ]