Halloween By Day: Tales for the Good Children

Tale 5: The Client

About thirty years ago, there were three ghost hunters who never had a client. In the late years of their business, Hunting Hell Inc., they were considering closing up their business. They each had their own nicknames because of their oddly long birth names. The first one was Merlow Gutanheinmer. His nickname was Cap’n because of his large, black eye patch. The second was Coillcomhann Donzainigan. His nickname was Ming because of his Chinese nationality. The third was Leontina Burgerzanton. His nickname was Babe because he was the youngest member and his first name is supposed to be a girl’s name.

Halloween was the pit for them, because teenagers always took it as an opportunity to pick on them. They received prank phone calls, eggs were thrown at their office, and their jack-o-lanterns were smashed. Their phone rang on what they thought was going to be their last Halloween in business. Ming picked up the phone, ready to scream at more annoying teenagers.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice on the other side said.

“If you are a legitimate customer, which I highly doubt, you better make it fast. Cap’n and Babe are trying to stop some kids from throwing eggs at our office.” He responded.

“Oh, I am absolutely a legitimate customer. This is of no funny business to me. And I am willing to pay serious money if you can drive out my ghosts.” The woman replied.

“Oh,” marveled Ming, “Hold on a second while I tell the boys. I think we have an empty schedule today, but I just want to check.” Ming was completely lying about this. They always had an empty schedule. But he thought telling her this would impress her.

Ming opened the front door as Cap’n finally scared away the last of the teenagers. “Cap’n, we have a serious customer!” Babe and Cap’n stared at him in disbelief, but Cap’n picked up the phone anyway.

 “Hello, this is Cap’n Gutanheinmer, how may I help you?” he said.

“Yes, I have a terrible ghost problem and am willing to spend up to five thousand dollars to get rid of the ghosts.” With that, Cap’n fainted. Ming stared at the lifeless body of Cap’n, and picked up the phone.

“Well, where do you live?” He asked.

“Thirteen Pease Rd. in Northerntown. It is a large beige mansion. You can’t miss it!” Ming almost collapsed when he heard she lived in a mansion.

“We will be there ASAP!” He happily cried.

As soon as Babe woke up Cap’n, they were on the road looking for Thirteen Pease Rd. As their green minivan turned into Pease Rd, Babe noticed that all the houses in the street were hidden deep into the forest. Leafless trees were everywhere and cars occupied none of the driveways. It seemed as though no one lived on this street. Whether it was the vacancy or the millions of trees, this street had a cold and dark presence.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this.” Babe said. Both Ming and Cap’n who were in the front seats looked at Babe as if he was crazy.

 Turning back towards the steering wheel, Cap’n replied, “Come on, Babe! This dame offered five thousand bucks! And plus, I hired you for your bravery, so don’t let me down!” Cap’n wore his red pirate bandana that covered his black and greasy hair. Ming put gel into his brown hair because he thought gel would stop ghosts from possessing him. He cleaned off the smudges on his glasses so he would be able to see in the mansion. Babe ruffled his blonde hair and sat back worrying about what might happen to him. His blue eyes stared out of the backseat window at the vacant neighborhood.

As the minivan drove deeper into Pease Road, Babe started to notice large sections of white on the front lawns. “Is that snow?” Babe asked. But Ming and Cap’n seemed not to hear him.